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The Haps February 9, 2011

Posted by Kimmothy in Celebrities, Fam Damily, Home Life, Weather, Whatever.
1 comment so far

I don’t know how it’s possible I’m turning forty-two Sunday. When people say “I don’t feel (insert age),” I totally get that, because I don’t. I still listen to Eminem. I find South Park, Family Guy, the Jackass franchise and farting to be way funnier than any cartoon I’ve ever seen in the New Yorker. I’m going to my tenth Kid Rock concert in a few weeks. I watch Glee. I mean…are these normal enjoyments for someone well into their 40’s? Somehow I didn’t picture this way back when I was still feeling like a teenager in my 30’s. Really the only changes I’ve noticed are that I pay more attention to moisterizers, small print is starting to look swimmy even when I’m wearing my glasses and after a couple of nights of staying up too late, I go on coma-like sleeping benders to recover.

The in-laws are on my last nerve lately. And by in-laws I mean pretty much his entire family. It happens this way sometimes, where because we moved back here (by choice, let’s not forget to rub that in to me when I’m bitching about stuff like this) partially to be close to them, there are periods of time it seems they are all up in our grills (yeah, forty-something white women probably shouldn’t be using that phrase either) and demanding our time and attention. And while I do enjoy them most of the time, especially the ones on his dad’s side who I can comfortably curse in front of, Brian is literally being pulled in two different directions right now as we speak, trying to fit into his work day doing something for his dad while having spent the last three days doing something else for his step-dad. Who called me up Saturday to help him “vacuum” a house that would be better served burned to the ground. I guess I’m not the only one who has trouble telling people no because that doesn’t seem to be in his vocabulary when it comes to his family lately. What happened to the long-haired twenty-three year old Prodigal son I met in a bar? Fifteen years, I guess. And the stupid part is, I love that he cares so much about family so then I feel like a whiny bitch for saying something to him about it. At least I have the birthday excuse to pull this weekend and oh yes, I will utilize it.

I was rushing around Friday, trying to grab a quick bite to eat before the monthly therapy appointment and dropped my phone into a toilet. It was one of those situations that seemed like it was happening in slow motion and my brain was screaming NOOOO. By the end of the day I was the shocked but happy owner of a Droid. By yesterday I was no longer happy, as I have no idea how to use most of the cool features I was once so happy about. When I get a spare hour, I’m heading to Sprint to either get a lesson on usage or to trade the damn thing for something that doesn’t make me feel like a simpleton.

As much as I talk about fall, winter, snow, I want it, I love it, fireplace, blah blah – I think I have a little case of spring fever going on at the moment. We’ve had schizo weather this winter and here lately some cold/gray/wet/bone aching days. Then every so often a sunny high fifties day will pop up and I notice my mood and energy level immediately improves. I give serious credit to the people I know who live in unforgiving climes this time of year (Heather, my NY relatives) for not turning into Jack Nicholson from The Shining. I wouldn’t blame any of them for hacking through a door with an ax, all HERE’S JOHNNY after dealing with the nastiness for months on end. Serious props for that, because I know deep down I need variety in my weather like Charlie Sheen with his porny friends to be truly happy.

I’m getting really close to my goal for the down payment I want to have for a new vehicle. It’s been almost a full year of driving that beast which is really a work truck in the sense it’s Brian’s so it’s always dirty and filled with things needing to be taken to the dump. Whatever I get is going to feel luxurious and like MINE ALL MINE. I’m really looking forward to it. That, and I’m buying myself a bicycle for my birthday. New transportation all over this place! And in keeping it age-appropriate, I have my eyes on a purple Huffy right now, one that will look so cute with a plastic daisy basket and the Justin Bieber license plate I have picked out. Oh, I’m kidding about that last part. It’s obviously an Eminem plate, personalized that reads “The real Kim Shady.” Obviously.


And the Season is Only 4 Days Old June 25, 2010

Posted by Kimmothy in Exercise, Home Life, Weather, Whatever.

It’s 3:00 on a Friday afternoon – would YOU feel like working anymore?

It’s been a really good week here at Hot-fucking Central. No, I won’t dedicate anymore time to bitching about the heat. Except for this: Highs in the 100’s and lows in the Doesn’t-Even-Matter. I’m seeing glimpses of possible relief next week, so let’s just hope for that and move on.

The most exciting thing that happened is that we paid the car off. Until I have that title in my hand it will go on feeling a little surreal, but wow does it feel great too. This was the first step in accomplishing some things and even though it took about a month longer than we’d planned (which is actually ahead of schedule for us), we both are feeling really optimistic about things in general. Optimism usually scares the crap out of me, but I’m trying to enjoy it for once.

I try to keep most of the weight loss talk over on the Butts blog, but I can’t help but say that I’ve settled into a nice little routine again and though the changes are small and slow-going, the fact that there are changes at all is really cool. Brian’s amazed every time I come back beat-red in the face and sweating and I really must say it’s like walking through hot soup, but I can’t deny it feels great too. I can’t imagine how excited I’ll be once the humidity level dips back down below 50%. Oops, weather again.

We have a foreclosure to clean for the first time in a few months and guess who is assigned to cleaning out the toxic wasteland that is the refrigerator. Here’s a question. WHY. I can understand people who are being kicked out of their house not giving a shit about cleaning up after themselves, but the fact that the real estate company thinks keeping these appliances after so much damage has been done to them is a good idea…I just don’t get it. Brian said not to worry – he’d pay me a good twenty-five or thirty bucks to do it. His mouth is still recovering from where I punched it.

I can’t believe it’s already been a year since Michael Jackson peaced out. I actually got choked up listening to a little tribute they did on the radio this morning.

I’ve really been in the mood to go fishing lately. I don’t know; it happens every once in awhile. Unfortunately Brian let me know it’s not a good time, because even the fish in their water are hiding out and not very active right now. Oh my God. I guess I literally cannot talk about anything without it somehow leading back to the weather.

Excuse me while I contact my local TV station and see if they’re in need of any help in the meteorology department. Will work for free as long I’m allowed to constantly talk about weather.

Birthday Weekend Stuff February 15, 2010

Posted by Kimmothy in Fam Damily, Friends, Home Life, Photoblog, The Man, Weather.

For me it always ends up that the “big” birthdays – 16, 21, 30 – are usually the only ones noteworthy enough to remember. At 16, my best friend at the time threw me a surprise party, the only one I’ve ever gotten, and I got to debut my neon skinny belts and matching socks to the crowd and got Madonna’s Like a Virgin cassette. At 21, my parents took me and my boyfriend at the time and some friends out for a fancy dinner and my dad bought me my first legal drink, an Alabama Slammer. At 30, my oldest enduring friend threw me an engagement birthday party and many of the people who would travel to our wedding also joined us there and it was crazy fun. Forty was fun last year, but I was also on the high of being in the process of trying to get pregnant and that lent an air of Happy no matter what I was doing.

I guess what I’m trying to say is this past birthday nothing really special was going on. Yet I had an amazing weekend anyway. If you know me at all, you pretty much get to hear me bemoan the lack of snow in my life on a regular basis. For once, Mother Nature or Storm Track Doppler Radar answered my prayers and for about 8 hours it dumped over six inches on us Friday afternoon/evening, enough to keep us occupied and in awe for hours. I couldn’t believe how bright and pink everything was close to midnight and walking around the neighborhood it felt like we had been transported to Narnia or some other magical snow place. The dog loved it. We loved it. I photographed it. I want it again.

Our yard has never looked so pretty

Saturday, the anniversary of my actual birth, Brian made me French toast for breakfast, took me to a place called Tokyo Grill for lunch, took me shopping for a replacement bottle of Happy perfume, told me another present is coming in the mail and was supposed to have been here by now but wasn’t and he was mad and we ended the day at Barnes & Noble. So in other words, a perfect day. We normally don’t do much for Valentine’s Day, but he told me my present was a month of tanning, he just doesn’t know the place to get the best deal and knows I do so when I decide to start back, he’ll slip me some cash. Awesome. It’ll be soon, of that I’m certain. Oh honey, skin damage for Valentine’s Day – you shouldn’t have but you know what I like!

Speaking of what I like. My mother is crazy; this has been well-documented. I don’t know if long-term alcohol abuse actually kills brain cells like they say, but she could be Exhibit A in support of that. What she usually does for my birthday is sends me a gift card, most of the time to Walmart – always very useful and I appreciate it. This year for reasons unknown she went for something different. In the package there was a red and white stuffed bear (yay, happy V-day to the dog!), a purple tote bag with a peace sign on it I would’ve loved on my 16th birthday (Her: “I figured since you got to go to Woodstock and I didn’t, what the heck.”) and this:

What the...

What the...

There are so many things wrong here, I was overwhelmed. With glee. Of course Emailing it to Sister was the first order of action. “Atrocity,” is the word she used and I thought that was a good one. Brian, always the one who tries to justify the Crazy, just threw out a cliche’: It’s the thought that counts. Thought? The actual thought process that went into this is the stuff of my nightmares. I think what knocks me out about it more than anything else though is how LITTLE she knows me. My mother, the woman who pushed me out, loved and nurtured me for a long time. Even my MIL, who is about as opposite-world from me as you can be, knows my taste in clothes and decor. I showed it to her yesterday, and ever the polite Southern lady all she could say was, “Oh Kee-yim, that’s not you at all.” No, no it’s not. However, I thanked her profusely like you do and she thinks I loved it so my job here is done. It’s currently in the donation pile, but if you know any 80-year-old ladies who live in South Florida and spend most of their time gardening and riding around in golf carts, let me know and I’ll ship it Express Mail.

And here’s the really funny thing. An amazing lady in the greater Chicago area, one whom I’ve only corresponded with through computer or text and still have yet to set eyes on wrote this for me. So it may be a little tragic my mom has no clue, but knowing there are people, amazing people out there who DO so totally get me, well that is all I or anyone can ever hope to have.

Last Day of 40 February 12, 2010

Posted by Kimmothy in Friends, Life, Weather, Whatever.

I don’t know what my deal is, but I haven’t been in writing mode lately. The therapist says that’s a little warning flag. There are things I do that perpetuate healthy living (writing, exercising, eating well) and other things that lead toward a less-positive way of thinking (I won’t get into that here) and it all kind of makes sense.

I have been exercising though, so that’s something.

I think maybe it’s a combo of a couple of things, not all bad. I had a great time with my friend from Florida last weekend, so much so the weekend seemed to pass by in a flash. I doubt I’ll ever have another co-worker with whom I form such a close friendship – that type of luck and timing doesn’t happen very often, but makes me extremely thankful it happened at all. I miss working in the same office as my friend every day, that’s for sure. And it hasn’t diminished over time – if anything it’s gotten stronger. I told her about my two current office neighbors and how I probably judge them unfairly because I’m comparing them to her. And the person who took my place at the old job is a complete asshole, so I feel bad for Annette dealing with that moreso. At least mine are nice people. Considering I used to share an office with a bonafide crazy person every day, I probably shouldn’t bitch at all, but you know, then I wouldn’t be me and shit.

Another thing – it’s my 41st birthday tomorrow. I’m ecstatic about the fact I’m getting my birthday wish for snow – it’s supposed to start this afternoon and there’s actually going to be some accumulation. As only a person who lives in the South can feel, right? Well, I’m that person and YIPPEEE! There’s already a little buzz of excitement around here – Are we going to get out of work early? Of course we are, we always do! It’s fun to watch this town lose its collective mind whenever this happens. But the thought of turning another year older without achieving my dream of becoming a parent has been making me feel Debbie Downer-ish and it’s been on my mind all week. I wish there was a way to banish negative thoughts, especially when they creep in during what should just be a happy time.

I am happy though too, so I’m trying to concentrate on the positive. The man and I have been in one of those lovey-dovey phases lately, so that’s cool. He’s been making me laugh more than usual too, and that’s a regular occurance anyway. I like him. He also keeps me grounded when my neurosis threaten to float me away. And in the cold months he’s a badass snuggle partner too. I’m sure he’d be thrilled to know I shared that. Ruins the street cred.

Other than that, it’s Friday, it’s going to snow and it’s a double holiday this weekend (for me) so I plan to keep on rockin’ in the free world and I hope everyone else does the same.

Sunday Bullets January 31, 2010

Posted by Kimmothy in Books, Exercise, Fam Damily, Friends, Home Life, The Man, Weather, Whatever.
  • I feel like this month has flown by. Normally January is like August for me in that it drags, drags, DRAGS. Not this time – tomorrow is February!
  • I’ve been enjoying exercising again and reading and writing on the No Butts blog. If I could bottle that awesome adrenaline high that comes right after a good work-out, I’d be a very rich woman. Under obvious, see obvious.
  • I finished the massive Stephen King book in just under three weeks’ time. Brian put it well: Anytime a long novel reads like a short story, you have a good thing on your hands. I’d recommend it to any SK fan.
  • I’m doing well on my no-unnecessary-spending kick. It helps a lot that the last two weekends, prime money wasting time, have been so ugly weather-wise we haven’t really left the house. Avoiding Amazon helps too.
  • Good friends are coming up from Florida at the end of this week. One of them is staying at a mutual friend’s house a little ways up the road apiece from here and the other is staying here. This coincides nicely with Brian leaving for another business-related-excuse-for-out-of-town-shennanigans (just how many trade shows are in the landscape business anyway?) trip to Myrtle Beach. Girl time, you know what that means: pedicures and pillow fights. All the way.
  • Facebook continues to amuse and amaze me. Is it me, or do other people experience the weird phenomenon that people you thought you knew are really, really dumb. I went through and cleaned some people out this week. No offense, but if I didn’t like talking to you in real life I probably shouldn’t subject myself to your idiocy online either.
  • The male half of our redneck friends helped Brian throw sod in our front yard Friday afternoon. We took him home later that night, around 7pm. I was eager to see the wife, as I haven’t since before Christmas and have heard she’s been going through some rough times re: their relationship. I wasn’t cheered by the fact she was in her pajamas when we got there, especially when I remembered the last time we were there – during the day – she was also dressed for bed. This isn’t a good sign as to her state of mind. I’m planning on giving her a call in the next few days to talk to her uncensored and see how she is. It seems Mr. Redneck is feeling pretty dreary too. Brian said when they were working on the yard, out of the blue with no segue he said, I can help you for as long as you want, man. I don’t have anything to do tonight, tomorrow, next week, or the rest of my life. Brian told me later, What do you say to that? Uh…we’ll be finished around 4?
  • I’m continually flabbergasted by my office neighbors, especially the one who turns any subject, work-related or not, into an anecdote about her kids. I’ve decided to start a game with it. Starting tomorrow, anytime this happens, I’m going to do a shot make a little note. Then at the end of the week I’ll tally it up and see what the data looks like. Will this accomplish anything besides my own stupid amusement? No it will not. That’s never stopped me before though, and it adds fodder to my continued fascination with the human race.
  • My SIL gave me what I do believe could qualify as one of the top three haircuts of all time this week. I don’t know how, because we were especially chatty the whole time and she kept snip, snip, snipping away until I started getting nervous. But no – I wake up in the morning and don’t resemble the Bugs Bunny monster anymore. She’s getting married March 6th and I’m looking forward to it despite the family drama that has already begun. It’s an outdoor affair and I’m curious as to what the weather will be like. I’d normally have something planned to wear by now but considering it could be anywhere from 30 degrees to 70 that day, I’m waiting. Smart, right?
  • Not much else to report. Life is good.

Bye Buy January 21, 2010

Posted by Kimmothy in Books, Home Life, Money, Shopping, Weather.

We had a bout of ridiculously beautiful weather for the last week or so (sunny, highs in the low 60’s) and it went a long way toward boosting my mood and lifting me out of what I’m guessing is a post-holiday funk. Today it’s back to cold and rainy but that’s not supposed to last and I’m okay with those days as well, as long as there aren’t too many of them in a row. As much as I profess to want to move to the Pacific NW someday, I seriously doubt I’d be good with their weather for very long. It’s been difficult to remain at work during the good weather stretch and I’ve tried to get outside and take as many walks during the day as I could get away with, which on some days was a lot.

Another thing I do to give myself a little lift quite often is buy something. It doesn’t have to be big; it can be as small as a bag of Cracker Jacks or a Cherry Coke. However, we are extremely close to meeting a big financial goal and the closer we get the more excited/anxious I am to pay off the debt. I’ve instituted a self-imposed shopping ban for myself for the next thirty days or so in order to meet the goal as soon as possible. (I’m actually embarrassed to say what the goal is but embarrassment has never stopped me from sharing before, so here it is: we’re finally paying off my ever-aging car, the poor sad Bessie. You may be saying to yourself, But isn’t that an old car, one that should’ve been paid off like two years ago? And my answer to that would be, Don’t ever take finanical advice from me because I’m really, really bad at it.)

Of course normal bills and things like groceries and gas will still be purchased. But once I decided this, which was only three days ago, it has already been dismaying to see how often I get the urge to poop out cash for completely or nearly-completely unnecessary items. Itching to get out of the office? Run to Target during my lunch hour under the guise of “picking up something for the house,” and come home with a new belt or cute new gloves. Standing in line at the grocery check-out? Why not grab the latest issue of Lucky to see what people luckier than me are buying. Feeling that late-afternoon blood sugar drop? Run down the street to the fun convenience store where they know me so well, they let me know when my favorite candy and soda is on sale. Can’t sleep in the middle of the night? Go to Amazon and/or Overstock and take a peek at what books, purses, jewelry, t-shirts, etc. might be on sale. Stop in to say hi to my sister-in-law at her hair salon and go next door to see what new hair product goodies or OPI nail polish might be on clearance.

Oh my God, I suck.

But! That’s all over with for the time being. I may feel the urges still, like any good addict would, but I guess the difference is having the bigger goal within reach. The light at the end of the proverbial tunnel is getting brighter all the time and I’m counting on it to blind me to instant gratification. I’m feeling good and strong.

Even though yesterday I found out the library’s bi-annual book sale is happening this coming Saturday.

God is laughing at me as we speak.

Trippin’ October 23, 2009

Posted by Kimmothy in Friends, Travel, Vacation, Weather.

I’ve been annoying the shit out of myself, trying to find the time and patience to put together a picture post of last weekend’s camping extravaganza and now here it is already a week later. Time flies when you spend your spare time trying to catch up on sleep. Then I figured it’s stupid to wait on the pictures when no one is really that into them anyway and if they are there’s always Flickr. Not that I’ve gotten them up there yet either, but get off my ass, okay? I tend to forget other people aren’t quite as fascinated with Fall foliage as I am, because (A) they live where the leaves also turn, or (B) they just don’t give a crap. For me though, yes. As soon as we got to the top of that one hill on I-26 West where you can see the first of the Blue Ridge Parkway, my cold black little heart started beating a little faster and I immediately knew whatever happened over the course of the next two days, it would all be worth making this trip. Mountains do it for me.

And it’s a good thing I had that attitude, because there were a couple of challenges that were somewhat difficult to deal with. I knew it was going to be cold. I didn’t know by Saturday evening it would be so cold I’d literally be wearing EVERYTHING I PACKED. Oh yeah. At one point I started doing jumping jacks, simply because I couldn’t figure out any other way to get warm. That works, by the way. What I was mostly concerned with was sleeping, because God knows, do not get in the way of my precious sleep. And actually that worked out okay the first night – the $2 Coleman handwarmers were very effective shoved in various parts of our under-most layer of clothing – next time I’ll just know to buy more than four of them so I’ll be able to duct tape them all over myself.

No, the main problem came from the fact that at various times throughout the weekend it would get cloudy and drizzly and once I get that cold damp feeling, I find it mostly impossible to function normally. Then I made the biggest mistake ever by climbing in the van “just for a few minutes” with Joan to get warmed up. I did not climb back out of the van until the following morning, not really worring too much about my husband’s possible death-by-frostbite alone in the tent. I did check on him first thing to make sure he was breathing – I’m not that mean.

But Joan. Poor little Joan. She was already starting not to feel that great on the drive up there. By the next morning she was officially and very obviously sick. I felt horrible for her, but she remained a trooper the entire weekend – way more of a champ than I would’ve been. Turns out she now has bronchitis coupled with the flu, so yeah. I feel extremely lucky I came away from it with a stuffy nose and some congestion. She and I agreed next year should we choose to do it again (which I wouldn’t mind doing at all, it was that much fun), we will be staying in a cabin. When I told my cousin Scott about it he said, “Yeah, no kidding, Kim. I was going to warn you Jews don’t camp in tents.”

But, all in all – so much fun. The food tasted awesome like it always does in the outdoors. The food we brought, plus the best cappucino, spinach & mushroom pizza and homemade lemonade ever. The music was awesome, even with standing in the rain to hear some Cowboy Junkies. There was a tent that had nothing but Celtic music all weekend long and we couldn’t walk past it without stopping to listen. Even though our anniversary was supposed to have an aluminum or tin gift, Brian got me an awesome necklace made from recycled glass. We laughed a lot together and I realized like I always do we have a lot of fun whenever we’re someplace different, exploring and away from the daily grind. I mean, who doesn’t – but still. We don’t have a lot of opportunity to do that and I’m thankful we managed to do it for this.

The trip home was cool too – Brian napped, Joan worked on trying to remain amongst the living and Delorme and I had a great conversation in which pretty much every sentence began with, “Remember that time when…” which are always fun to have when you’ve known the other person practically twenty years. Not fun for the people who weren’t there, but luckily they’re both pretty patient about listening to old stories.

And now I’m getting ready to get ready to leave for Florida next week. Two trips in two weeks isn’t my idea of sane planning, but that’s the way it worked out this time and I’m not bitching. A little tired, but not bitching.

Roughin’ it October 13, 2009

Posted by Kimmothy in Foodies, Friends, Travel, Weather.

By my estimation it’s been about four years since I’ve slept in a tent. And it was that last trip that reinforced my tent-camping philosophy which basically states no camping in the state of Florida between the months of March and November unless you are in a motorhome and even then just don’t. In fact, since 95% of my camping experience has been in a motorhome, each time I’ve pitched a tent it’s been a new and educational experience. This weekend we’ll be  tenting it in the mountains of North Carolina, where by all weather accounts it’s going to be fairly nipply in the daytime (mid 50’s), downright frozen-snot cold at night (low 30’s) and today I see the new development that on Sunday there’s the possibility of snow flurries.

Now, you may or may not remember, but I am a crazyhead when it comes to snow. I pray for it every year and the one or two days we actually get some, I spend most of my time outside in it taking pictures and trying to urge it to stick and pile up a little. However, I’ve never camped in it so if the ever-changing forecast is accurate I hope it does actually wait until Sunday when we’re breaking camp and getting ready to come home. I’d love to see it; I just don’t want to sleep in it. I mean, my God. I’m still Floridian enough so that when the temp drops below 70 I’m reaching for my socks and hoodie.

I’m slowly but steadily getting through my to-do list. We’re splitting the food responsibilities and my part includes dinner on Friday night (chili – spicy for the boys, wimpy for the girls), some lunch stuff, snacks and coffee. I’ve basically got most of the stuff already, but I’m making one last shopping trip tomorrow to get the rest. Here’s my question (and Joan, if you’re reading feel free to chime in since you’re going to be one of the people eating it): If you were going on a three-day camping trip, what would you enjoy eating in the great outdoors? I know whenever I’m outside for extended periods of time I like to graze a lot. And I figure as long as I cover the four basic snack rules – salt, sugar, cheese and chocolate (the Hershey bars for the S’mores don’t count), I’ll be safe.

Other little thoughts:

– I LOVE drinking coffee outside on cold mornings.

– In addition to the regular warm clothes I’m bringing, a hat, gloves and thick socks to go under my hiking boots are coming as well. As long as my head, hands and feet are warm I can pretty much withstand anything.

– I’m going to be thankful Brian turns into a human heat rock when we sleep.

– According to some of the stuff I’ve read, it looks like the leaves are already putting on a pretty good show up there. Eeep!

– This will be my third experience camping at a music/arts festival type thing and based on the past experiences, I know I’m going to love it. I can’t wait until Friday!

Adieu, August August 31, 2009

Posted by Kimmothy in Baby-Making, Home Life, Weather, Work.

This thing has been happening the past few days where I wake up at some ungodly, unnecessary hour and don’t go back to sleep. This type of annoying insomnia (is it really insomnia if you’ve slept four or five consecutive hours?) happens to me once in awhile, usually when I’m looking forward to something – an upcoming trip, for example. And while we do have some fun plans for October, that’s too far away to account for being that excited yet. We did get our first “cool” front that arrived last night, but if I’m that excited about the weather? I’m thinking maybe I should reevaluate some things. Even after going to bed at 3:30 a.m. Sunday morning, Brian woke up with me at 7:30, but that’s easy enough to explain – he’s losing his mind counting down every hour until the Gamecocks’ season kicks off this Thursday night.

Fall does make me extremely happy though; and I never remember how many little aspects of it affect my life for the positive until they start happening – the good hair (though not today – just call me Frizzy McFuzzyhead), the not worrying about melting groceries during the one-minute commute home from the store, the cooking and eating of heavier fare like the pot roast I cooked all day yesterday, the fighting over the TV because not only is there football but there’s also ALL NEW SHOWS, MY GOD, HOW MANY FUCKING NIGHTS A WEEK DO YOU HAVE TO WATCH FUCKING FOOTBALL, I PAY THE CABLE BILL IN THIS HOUSE TOO, GIVE ME THE FUCKING REMOTE NOW! Ahem.

I just got back from meeting with a co-worker who used to work in adoptions. She gave me some good information and let me know that should I end up pursuing that route, I can call on her anytime for any help, even if I’m just freaking out (she knows me pretty well). I know it always helps knowing someone who knows other people in situations like this, so I feel less intimidated already. I mean…it would be a long and arduous process, but considering what I went through the first six months of this year, I kind of feel like I could handle the challenge. Yes, there would be mountains of paperwork, extensive background checks and massive home invasions by nosy caseworkers, but compared to getting shot up with hormones and crotch-probed and making two hour trips to get injected with jizz and then seeing negative pregnancy tests month after month? CAKE, BABY.

This no computer having at home shit is getting old. When I’m totally having withdrawals Brian lets me use his Blackberry, but most sites are completely annoying and I don’t usually last long with that. I could not imagine typing for long periods of time like that. I’m sure we’ll end up with something new eventually though; in the meantime there are more important things to pay for, like…well, shit. It’s always something, you know? Could be much worse, so I’ll quit the bitchin’, how’s that.

Don’t You Forget About Me August 25, 2009

Posted by Kimmothy in Baby-Making, Home Life, Jews, Movies, Weather, Whatever, Work.

Apparently evil forces are conspiring to prevent me from my usual internet habits. Between the home computer finally farting out its final queef Friday night (during Brian’s weekly poker tourney, no less) and work pickign up in that brisk and annoying way it does every Fall, I feel like I’m completely out of the cyber loop. And I don’t like it, not one little bitch (typo, but it stays). In fact, I should really be working right now, but dammit enough’s enough already.

Hmm, so now that I’m here I can’t think of what I wanted to say. Typical. So much, yet nothing really important. Counting the days ’til the good weather arrives, of course. Funny how it’s right about now where every year I feel like I can’t deal with the heat anymore and right as I reach my breaking point, we get that first little hint of cool, dry mornings and nights. I was cleaning the closet room (again) the other night and I discovered a notebook where I’d written last year “September 15 – First day of wearing long sleeves.” Yes, I am that much of a dork. But like I told Heather, I appreciate myself when I do stupid shit like that. Because now either I can look forward to wearing long sleeves three weeks from today, or I can be disappointed that the day isn’t as cool as it was last year but either way know it won’t be too much longer now. Little things like that keep me enthusiastic about being alive. 

What else. Oh yeah – for the first time in ages, and I mean ages, I got hit on yesterday! Well, that sounds rude and in reality it wasn’t that way at all. Our building’s roof is caving in (it’s qualified as “historic” which actually means “we don’t have funds to either tear it down or rennovate it so let’s keep putting duct tape on it”) so there have been maintenance guys here almost every day. There’s one in particular who I usually say hi to or end up making small talk with – no flirting, I swear, and yesterday he asked if I remembered to bring my lunch (I had forgotten it the other day). I said “No, I forgot it again,” and he then asked if I wanted to go get something to eat. I am so out of practice because I didn’t see that one coming a mile away. I kind of laughed and said, “Well, the husband probably wouldn’t be too happy about that!” and he looked down at my ring hand and blushed fourteen shades of red. He said “I did NOT notice your ring!” and I believe him, because no one can fake blushing like that. When I told Brian (of course I did!) he said, “The poor guy had probably debated doing it all weekend, only to get shot down.” I hadn’t thought of that. But, a little awkward, a little ego boost, no harm, no foul. Like Grace said, it’s a shame he’s the roof guy instead of the computer guy, considering my problem at home. Those days are long past and times like these I really miss them. At least I’ll know who to flirt with should our roof at home become problematic.

We saw Inglourious Basterds over the weekend. Not as bad as my friend Stephanie thought it was, but definitely not Pulp Fiction or Kill Bill level. As a Jew, I did enjoy the revenge fantasy aspect of it and Brad still makes me laugh, but way too long and a little indulgent. A good way to kill a hot afternoon though.

Finally talked to Mother. Nothing new to report there.

Been trying to speak with a co-worker who used to work in adoptions, but both of our schedules have prevented that from happening. Barring putting an ad on Craigslist (“Wanted: Baby, sex unimportant, between the ages of 0 and 4 weeks, to a good home.”), adoption is really the only avenue I see that’s left. And the more time passes, the more I’m okay with that. I came across an empty pill bottle that used to contain some of those evil hormones the other day and stood there in shock, thinking about how I spent the first six months of this year. It’s already taken on the quality of something I might have dreamed instead of something that actually happened and that alone amazes me. The first of the eight pregnant people I know gave birth last week and it barely registered with me. I don’t know what that means.

To end on an upbeat note, I’ll leave you with a joke:

A baby seal walks into a club…