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Long Time No See December 2, 2012

Posted by Kimmothy in Experience, Friends, Life.
1 comment so far

Oh, hi.


If you want to blow your own mind (sounds dirty, wasn’t meant to), randomly run into the daughter of one of your old best friends at an event that is in no way connected to that part of your life and learn that she’s now the age you were when you met and became friends with her mother.

Brian had a work function banquet last night which held nothing but low expectations for me and then all of a sudden it was like I fell into that squiggly corkscrew graphic that depicts time travel in cheesy Twilight Zone episodes. Weirdly, Brian won a corkscrew in the raffle giveaway, which is useful only for this story since even if we did drink wine it wouldn’t be the kind that required a corkscrew. I won a pair of diamond earrings, but that’s not even the crazy thing.

After catching up with my friend’s daughter, and there was a lot of that to do, I learned that her mother, my friend of twenty years, tried to commit suicide about a month ago. I’d call it maybe an accidental overdose, but drinking a bottle of liquid Oxycodone (is that even a thing? I guess it is) and ingesting about two hundred pills probably can’t be considered an accident. It was really upsetting (obviously), especially because the last I’d heard, my friend was doing better, working various programs, seemingly overcoming her demons. Addiction is a motherfucker, in that you can be going along fine, living your life, thinking you’re on top of it all and then boom.

In my last therapy session, my doctor reminded me addiction is a disease that’s classified as Acute, Chronic, Relapsing (ARC, which is kind of a fun acronym if you put some thought into it), and one that never wants to let you go, like a psycho stalker lover. Thanks for that, Doc, really super great news. So you’re saying no matter how much time passes, how hard I work to be healthy, happy, and a functioning member of society, my brain is still warped and vulnerable to this hell. Here’s your $100, C U Next Tuesday.

Was it fate last night, bumping into her in the most unlikely of places? She really wants her mother and I to reconnect. I’m nervous, but I also want to see her, as she was someone who was a big part of my life for a lot of years. She also gave me my first Xanax (we were Christmas shopping and in fifteen minutes I went from wanting to stab people to wanting to give everyone a hug) and we spent many a time together washing pills down with Zima (it was the 90’s; give me a break), acting out our own redneck version of Valley of the Dolls. That wasn’t what our entire friendship was about, but looking back it was a big part of it. It still unnerves me when I think of all the friends I’ve had who have struggled with one form of addiction or another, some of whom are still knee-deep in the hell of it.

This is the time of year when I always (like many people do; I know I’m not a special snowflake) get reflective and nostalgic and long for days gone by. Well, the past ran up to me last night and gave me a big hug. And while it was all a little overwhelming, it made me feel like maybe it’s time to revisit some of it. Anything’s possible.


Bzz Bzz September 29, 2010

Posted by Kimmothy in Friends, Home Life, Work.
1 comment so far

I don’t understand how everything goes from routine, slow and boring to warp speed chaos without me noticing until I’m in the middle of the crazy and am totally overwhelmed. Right now I should be doing twelve other things, which is why I’m doing this. World Class Procrastinators of the world unite! …In a little while.

After months of no work with the foreclosures, George gave us like seven properties a couple of weeks ago. Some had to be cleaned out, some needed yardwork, some just needed their locks changed and I’m pretty sure two of them needed all of the above. I fully realize it’s only because he gives us this work we’ve been able to accomplish things we never would have done otherwise (like pay off both vehicles within three months of each other – woo!), but anytime you have work to do on top of a regular full-time job, life gets very hectic all of a sudden. And because it’s always a hurry-up-and-wait scene, a lot of it is hard to do on what would be our preferred method, which is to get everything done as soon as possible, get the invoices submitted and get paid. I’m not saying that’s George’s fault, except that it partially is. He takes on so much he rarely knows whether he’s coming or going because most of the time he’s doing both at the same time.

My good friend Annette is coming to visit tomorrow, up from Florida. I’m of course very happy about this; we always have a good time together and have a fun weekend planned. But you know, there are certain things that are nice to do when someone is coming to stay; things like making sure there are clean linens, removing the dog hair and potentially hazardous detrious from the main living areas of the house, providing things to eat and drink. All that stuff takes time too; I know – surprise!

At the beginning of this week I was determined to make time to get the house things done so I wouldn’t FOR ONCE be running around like a psycho at the last minute. Monday I went home from work, hyper and psyched to get started. I was on the phone, talking about how we’d finally gotten rain after over a month and was absentmindedly following the dog out the back door, down the porch steps. The wet porch steps. With flip flops on. You see where this is going, obviously. I slipped off the top step and landed somewhere near the bottom, with most of the left side of my body taking the brunt of the fall: neck, shoulder, elbow, butt cheek. You know that split second after you’ve hurt yourself where you’re waiting to see how bad the damage is going to be? That anticipation went by very quickly and went straight to MOTHERF*CKING OW.

Now, not only do I feel like an idiot when I explain to people why I’m walking funny, I’m still really freaking sore. So instead of spending the last few evenings doing things around the house, I’ve mostly laid on the couch and watched TV to dull the pain. So. Tomorrow has almost arrived and along with it Annette, and I’m as ill-prepared as ever. Luckily she knows me well enough to not be offended by the state of the house no matter what it may be when she arrives. It’s good to have people who know you well.

Also on one of the back burners that should be on the front, I have another writing assignment I need to get finished, because I’m getting paid to do that too. I’m wondering when I’m going to find time to walk again, now that the weather is what I’ve been waiting for since I started walking in June. Even the damn dog wanted to play catch yesterday and I couldn’t make the time to do that for which I obviously feel guilty about.

Don’t get me wrong; I like being busy. Especially when it’s all good stuff. I just wish I had time to actually pause for a minute, catch my breath and appreciate it all.

Limbo August 15, 2010

Posted by Kimmothy in Friends, Home Life, Life, Vacation.

I don’t hate August as much as I say I do. True, it’s still hotter than seven hells and I feel like I’m in a perpetual state of waiting and there’s really no point in trying to do anything with my Jew-fro except put it in a clip or a ponytail and even then the ponytail fluffs out alarmingly an hour later, but still. Now that we’ve reached the middle of the month, little hints of Fall have started to trickle in; back-to-school sales, classes starting back up at the college this week, the Fall issue of Seventeen and Vogue appear. And I realized something important this year – for someone who enjoys the anticipation as much if not more than the actual event itself, it’s nice to try to enjoy the moment instead of pining away miserably for a season that’s still over a month away. But seriously, the weather can still kiss my sweaty ass.

My week in Florida went by in a blur, like always. I spent most of my time with Grace and Elizabeth which was great, got to spend a fun-filled night down in Tampa with my old co-worker friends and spent an extremely large portion of my time either in or on water. I’m not sure if it’s the Aquarian in me or what, but put me in a boat on a body of water and I am instantly serene. Which is weird since I’m not fond of the beach or spending long periods of time in direct sunlight. And it’s weird to be there for short periods of time where I get glimpses into people’s lives that I used to be a part of daily. It reinforces the feeling I know I’m living where I want to live, but with a constant yearn to be with the people I love. Elizabeth is now a sophmore in high school. My old office has a new wood floor. My family is still as crazy as ever. Time marches on.

The economy is affecting work in a big way right now. Where in years’ past our trainings would be already starting in the next week or two, we’re now under a “brown-out” (who came up with the term that makes me think of New York City during WWII I don’t know) and all but “essential” training have been postponed until after September 15th, and I learned Friday it could extend even longer. This makes for a lot of free but stressful time, talking in whispers behind closed doors and guessing as to what the extent of all this will mean. Our side business is still fairly steady, with most of the work right now being yard maintenance but that’s fine with me – that just means I’m responsible for nothing but the invoicing and bookkeeping part. Anything that keeps me inside is peachykeen, Josephine.

Except for taking walks, which I’m still doing. I took one while in Florida and quickly became very grateful for my own neighborhood. Down there exercise is only enjoyable if you’re doing it while submersed in water. Again, I’m glad I live here.

Other than that, things are good (a week away also reminds me how much I like hanging out with my husband and dog) with some minor room for improvements in some areas. Like always.

Lull June 14, 2010

Posted by Kimmothy in Friends, Health, Home Life, Money.

Let’s go ahead and get the complaint out of the way first: it’s fucking hot. At the risk of Heather Jo making fun of me for stating the obvious (one of the things we talk about frequently is weather and she laughs at people who complain or act surprised when they’ve lived somewhere forever and should know by now what the deal is), I can’t reiterate enough how much I hate it. Unlike her, who is one of the lucky people who seem to have a high tolerance for a wide array of temps, I think I’m starting to become opposite of that. Brian says I have a comfort range of about five degrees and I’m starting to think he’s right (although 65 – 75 is probably more like it, so okay, ten).

We’ve had high 90’s or low 100’s for the past few days and as you may guess, it makes me want to punch something. I love being outside but when it’s like this I avoid it as much as possible and then I get sad and feel like a cave dweller.

 Luckily Saturday evening we had something to do, which forced us to leave the house. I was thankful for it. Friends of ours just moved into a new house and needed our truck to move some of the leftover big things, including a treadmill which weighs more Earth. We waited until almost sundown to get started and though it was still steamy out, it was a vast improvement. It was sweaty work to be sure, but we always have fun hanging out with them and were really happy to be able to help because we know how much moving sucks ass. They have a gorgeous new house and I’m really excited for them. Sitting out on the deck swatting the moths away, I could visualize how amazing it’ll be to visit and cook out there in good weather!

One thing with hibernating right now though is that when you stay home you’re not spending any money. (Obviously I still could – Amazon is possible no matter what, but I’m avoiding that too and being a good little library goer) Right now we’re on the verge of the car being paid off (so close, so close!) and also repaired, a washing machine that seems to have lost its ability to spin and a truck that has new weird noises every week. It’s frustrating for both of us to feel like we’re holed up every weekend, but on the other hand the light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter and more real, so we’re trying to stay focused on that. We’ve weathered way worse times and I know we’ll get through this little period of ennui as well.

Working on losing weight helps me too. I know if nothing else, I am making progress with something. If exercising and eating well is the only thing I’ve accomplished that day, well, that’s better than what I was doing before. It does wonders for my mood to put on a pair of pants that didn’t fit a few weeks ago or to see the numbers going in the right direction on the scale. Yesterday I even tortured myself a little and watched Food Network – Paula Deen was making bbq ribs, potato salad, homemade ice cream and oh, I just laughed and laughed as I ate my salad.

One good thing about me – I can always find ways to amuse myself. That’s an important quality to have, especially during times like these.

Vacay Replay May 19, 2010

Posted by Kimmothy in Fam Damily, Friends, Uncategorized, Vacation.

The Florida trip was good but I’m just now feeling like I’m getting back into the swing.

A big reason I went was so we could sit down face to face with Mother and go over some things that should’ve been dealt with a long time ago. She’s sixty-five and not in the best of health (although for someone who consumes large quantities of alcohol on a daily basis and has a chloresterol count somewhere in the neighborhood of “solid,” she’s holding up surprisingly well) and we needed to talk about things like medical, financial and what-if scenarios. When my dad died it was so sudden, we were shocked and lost and luckily family stepped in to help out, but it makes me feel better to be a little more prepared for when the time comes for her. Which, no matter what I’ve said about her, I obviously don’t want that to happen for awhile, but still. It was an emotional conversation, but it had to be done and we all felt relieved afterwards.

As far as what we did, well, there’s not much to report. I learned an important lesson, though. A household that contains a three-year-old has a schedule which is wholly dictated by the little person, and can change on a whim, depending on the mood of the child. File that under B for Big ol’ Duh, I know. Was I aware of this prior to being part of it? Yes. But like all things, it’s hard to actually imagine until you’re the one experiencing it and the last time I was up close and personal with a girl, aged three was Elizabeth and now she’s about to turn fifteen. It’s been awhile, is what I’m saying.

She wasn’t feeling her best and after a quick doctor’s visit Thursday it was determined she had the leftovers of some prior sickies. We quickly decided a sick kid does not a fun Disney trip make and cancelled that plan. So we mostly hung out around Sister’s house, which definitely has its perks: pool, large TV’s in multiple rooms and plenty of reading material, of both the hand-held and laptop varieties. We left the house to get groceries and took a quick trip to some stores while the little one was napping one day. This just in: raising a kid is not easy. My sister works a full-time job with flexible hours, but it’s a job that the more she works the more money she makes so if she’s not working, she has a vague nagging feeling she should be. To be honest, and don’t take this the wrong way if you’re reading this Sister – I’ve never seen her more frazzled. I kept putting myself in her position and I’m sure I’d be the same way. She’s a great mom, wife and active member of society and I think it’s making her damn exhausted.

Do I still want a child? Of course! I’ve just come to the conclusion I sleep waaaay more than what would is allowable should that ever happen. So there’s that.

One great thing happened (well two, if you count the fact we developed an old roll of film we thought and hoped was from a Kid Rock concert we attended over five years ago where we were five feet from the stage and we were right and the pictures came out clear as day and there was Kid smiling at us in pictures – woo!) (and I do count that). My good friend Shari, someone I haven’t seen in eight years, came over and hung out with us for an afternoon/evening of swimming, wine, pasta, catching up and reminiscing. The three of us used to hang out a lot in this fashion many moons ago in our 20’s and life was less complicated and we formed a strong bond that was just completely reaffirmed the other day. There’s something about being around someone you’ve known and who has known you for almost twenty years, that just feels a little…magical. Or that just might be Shari, because she’s one of those people who makes you feel like that. Either way it was spectacular.

So yeah, the trip. Fairly uneventful yet fairly awesome all at the same time.

Indefatigable April 15, 2010

Posted by Kimmothy in Friends, Life, Whatever.

I hadn’t talked with Grace for well over a month so we were on the phone for well over two hours last night, catching up, gossiping, etc. She said something that made my stomach drop and almost fall out of my butt (which would actually help speed the diet along really well). After this school year is over, there will be three, count them THREE short years until Elizabeth graduates and potentially leaves home. I know “leaving home” can mean many things: living at home while attending community college, going off to a university nearish to home, making it easy to come back whenever she wants her laundry done or to be cooked for, or, OR it could mean her going farther away and maybe never living at home full-time again. I swear, it’s almost hard for me to comprehend it. On several levels. One of which being Grace and I are very close in age, pretty much grew up together, experienced many of the same things, yet here I am thinking about just starting out on the whole kid journey while she’s preparing herself for empty nest syndrome. Blows my mind.

I’m thankful the human lifespan has become longer, because I really am a late bloomer. The things I’m trying to accomplish now, most of my peers (the ones I personally know) checked off their lists ten years ago. Or more. My dad always said I’d probably get my four year degree the same month I received my first social security check, but haha, joke’s on him – social security will be LONG GONE by then!

Okay, enough of that.

Brian was driving home from a job Saturday morning, came in and told me what he just saw: two people in a car, a man and woman driving, and a guy walking on the side of the road. Suddenly and without provocation the people in the car threw a soda can at the guy walking and hit him. There was no way for Brian to stop until he reached the entrance to our neighborhood but then he did and waited for the walking guy. He said he didn’t know what he could do, but he was going to at least offer the guy a ride or something. Anything to make up for the fact that people fucking suck sometimes. The guy never showed up and Brian felt awful.

God, I hated to hear that. We decided that we were going to try to go out of our way to be kinder to people (a challenge for me, I know) and at least maybe that will balance out the bullshit a little more. Maybe? I don’t know. That includes feigning interest when co-worker (A) prattles on and on (and on) about her home life and co-worker (B) comes into my office to show me things like the results of her sunless tanning lotion or her newest color-coordinated QVC outfit, well then so be it. I am willing to sacrafice a little sanity for the betterment of humankind.

Is betterment a word? IT IS NOW!

In other news, at the advanced age of 41, I’ve finally found the perfect nude lipstick color.

Be well. And let me know if there’s anything I can do to improve your day, because I seriously want to do it.

Birthday Weekend Stuff February 15, 2010

Posted by Kimmothy in Fam Damily, Friends, Home Life, Photoblog, The Man, Weather.

For me it always ends up that the “big” birthdays – 16, 21, 30 – are usually the only ones noteworthy enough to remember. At 16, my best friend at the time threw me a surprise party, the only one I’ve ever gotten, and I got to debut my neon skinny belts and matching socks to the crowd and got Madonna’s Like a Virgin cassette. At 21, my parents took me and my boyfriend at the time and some friends out for a fancy dinner and my dad bought me my first legal drink, an Alabama Slammer. At 30, my oldest enduring friend threw me an engagement birthday party and many of the people who would travel to our wedding also joined us there and it was crazy fun. Forty was fun last year, but I was also on the high of being in the process of trying to get pregnant and that lent an air of Happy no matter what I was doing.

I guess what I’m trying to say is this past birthday nothing really special was going on. Yet I had an amazing weekend anyway. If you know me at all, you pretty much get to hear me bemoan the lack of snow in my life on a regular basis. For once, Mother Nature or Storm Track Doppler Radar answered my prayers and for about 8 hours it dumped over six inches on us Friday afternoon/evening, enough to keep us occupied and in awe for hours. I couldn’t believe how bright and pink everything was close to midnight and walking around the neighborhood it felt like we had been transported to Narnia or some other magical snow place. The dog loved it. We loved it. I photographed it. I want it again.

Our yard has never looked so pretty

Saturday, the anniversary of my actual birth, Brian made me French toast for breakfast, took me to a place called Tokyo Grill for lunch, took me shopping for a replacement bottle of Happy perfume, told me another present is coming in the mail and was supposed to have been here by now but wasn’t and he was mad and we ended the day at Barnes & Noble. So in other words, a perfect day. We normally don’t do much for Valentine’s Day, but he told me my present was a month of tanning, he just doesn’t know the place to get the best deal and knows I do so when I decide to start back, he’ll slip me some cash. Awesome. It’ll be soon, of that I’m certain. Oh honey, skin damage for Valentine’s Day – you shouldn’t have but you know what I like!

Speaking of what I like. My mother is crazy; this has been well-documented. I don’t know if long-term alcohol abuse actually kills brain cells like they say, but she could be Exhibit A in support of that. What she usually does for my birthday is sends me a gift card, most of the time to Walmart – always very useful and I appreciate it. This year for reasons unknown she went for something different. In the package there was a red and white stuffed bear (yay, happy V-day to the dog!), a purple tote bag with a peace sign on it I would’ve loved on my 16th birthday (Her: “I figured since you got to go to Woodstock and I didn’t, what the heck.”) and this:

What the...

What the...

There are so many things wrong here, I was overwhelmed. With glee. Of course Emailing it to Sister was the first order of action. “Atrocity,” is the word she used and I thought that was a good one. Brian, always the one who tries to justify the Crazy, just threw out a cliche’: It’s the thought that counts. Thought? The actual thought process that went into this is the stuff of my nightmares. I think what knocks me out about it more than anything else though is how LITTLE she knows me. My mother, the woman who pushed me out, loved and nurtured me for a long time. Even my MIL, who is about as opposite-world from me as you can be, knows my taste in clothes and decor. I showed it to her yesterday, and ever the polite Southern lady all she could say was, “Oh Kee-yim, that’s not you at all.” No, no it’s not. However, I thanked her profusely like you do and she thinks I loved it so my job here is done. It’s currently in the donation pile, but if you know any 80-year-old ladies who live in South Florida and spend most of their time gardening and riding around in golf carts, let me know and I’ll ship it Express Mail.

And here’s the really funny thing. An amazing lady in the greater Chicago area, one whom I’ve only corresponded with through computer or text and still have yet to set eyes on wrote this for me. So it may be a little tragic my mom has no clue, but knowing there are people, amazing people out there who DO so totally get me, well that is all I or anyone can ever hope to have.

Last Day of 40 February 12, 2010

Posted by Kimmothy in Friends, Life, Weather, Whatever.

I don’t know what my deal is, but I haven’t been in writing mode lately. The therapist says that’s a little warning flag. There are things I do that perpetuate healthy living (writing, exercising, eating well) and other things that lead toward a less-positive way of thinking (I won’t get into that here) and it all kind of makes sense.

I have been exercising though, so that’s something.

I think maybe it’s a combo of a couple of things, not all bad. I had a great time with my friend from Florida last weekend, so much so the weekend seemed to pass by in a flash. I doubt I’ll ever have another co-worker with whom I form such a close friendship – that type of luck and timing doesn’t happen very often, but makes me extremely thankful it happened at all. I miss working in the same office as my friend every day, that’s for sure. And it hasn’t diminished over time – if anything it’s gotten stronger. I told her about my two current office neighbors and how I probably judge them unfairly because I’m comparing them to her. And the person who took my place at the old job is a complete asshole, so I feel bad for Annette dealing with that moreso. At least mine are nice people. Considering I used to share an office with a bonafide crazy person every day, I probably shouldn’t bitch at all, but you know, then I wouldn’t be me and shit.

Another thing – it’s my 41st birthday tomorrow. I’m ecstatic about the fact I’m getting my birthday wish for snow – it’s supposed to start this afternoon and there’s actually going to be some accumulation. As only a person who lives in the South can feel, right? Well, I’m that person and YIPPEEE! There’s already a little buzz of excitement around here – Are we going to get out of work early? Of course we are, we always do! It’s fun to watch this town lose its collective mind whenever this happens. But the thought of turning another year older without achieving my dream of becoming a parent has been making me feel Debbie Downer-ish and it’s been on my mind all week. I wish there was a way to banish negative thoughts, especially when they creep in during what should just be a happy time.

I am happy though too, so I’m trying to concentrate on the positive. The man and I have been in one of those lovey-dovey phases lately, so that’s cool. He’s been making me laugh more than usual too, and that’s a regular occurance anyway. I like him. He also keeps me grounded when my neurosis threaten to float me away. And in the cold months he’s a badass snuggle partner too. I’m sure he’d be thrilled to know I shared that. Ruins the street cred.

Other than that, it’s Friday, it’s going to snow and it’s a double holiday this weekend (for me) so I plan to keep on rockin’ in the free world and I hope everyone else does the same.

Sunday Bullets January 31, 2010

Posted by Kimmothy in Books, Exercise, Fam Damily, Friends, Home Life, The Man, Weather, Whatever.
  • I feel like this month has flown by. Normally January is like August for me in that it drags, drags, DRAGS. Not this time – tomorrow is February!
  • I’ve been enjoying exercising again and reading and writing on the No Butts blog. If I could bottle that awesome adrenaline high that comes right after a good work-out, I’d be a very rich woman. Under obvious, see obvious.
  • I finished the massive Stephen King book in just under three weeks’ time. Brian put it well: Anytime a long novel reads like a short story, you have a good thing on your hands. I’d recommend it to any SK fan.
  • I’m doing well on my no-unnecessary-spending kick. It helps a lot that the last two weekends, prime money wasting time, have been so ugly weather-wise we haven’t really left the house. Avoiding Amazon helps too.
  • Good friends are coming up from Florida at the end of this week. One of them is staying at a mutual friend’s house a little ways up the road apiece from here and the other is staying here. This coincides nicely with Brian leaving for another business-related-excuse-for-out-of-town-shennanigans (just how many trade shows are in the landscape business anyway?) trip to Myrtle Beach. Girl time, you know what that means: pedicures and pillow fights. All the way.
  • Facebook continues to amuse and amaze me. Is it me, or do other people experience the weird phenomenon that people you thought you knew are really, really dumb. I went through and cleaned some people out this week. No offense, but if I didn’t like talking to you in real life I probably shouldn’t subject myself to your idiocy online either.
  • The male half of our redneck friends helped Brian throw sod in our front yard Friday afternoon. We took him home later that night, around 7pm. I was eager to see the wife, as I haven’t since before Christmas and have heard she’s been going through some rough times re: their relationship. I wasn’t cheered by the fact she was in her pajamas when we got there, especially when I remembered the last time we were there – during the day – she was also dressed for bed. This isn’t a good sign as to her state of mind. I’m planning on giving her a call in the next few days to talk to her uncensored and see how she is. It seems Mr. Redneck is feeling pretty dreary too. Brian said when they were working on the yard, out of the blue with no segue he said, I can help you for as long as you want, man. I don’t have anything to do tonight, tomorrow, next week, or the rest of my life. Brian told me later, What do you say to that? Uh…we’ll be finished around 4?
  • I’m continually flabbergasted by my office neighbors, especially the one who turns any subject, work-related or not, into an anecdote about her kids. I’ve decided to start a game with it. Starting tomorrow, anytime this happens, I’m going to do a shot make a little note. Then at the end of the week I’ll tally it up and see what the data looks like. Will this accomplish anything besides my own stupid amusement? No it will not. That’s never stopped me before though, and it adds fodder to my continued fascination with the human race.
  • My SIL gave me what I do believe could qualify as one of the top three haircuts of all time this week. I don’t know how, because we were especially chatty the whole time and she kept snip, snip, snipping away until I started getting nervous. But no – I wake up in the morning and don’t resemble the Bugs Bunny monster anymore. She’s getting married March 6th and I’m looking forward to it despite the family drama that has already begun. It’s an outdoor affair and I’m curious as to what the weather will be like. I’d normally have something planned to wear by now but considering it could be anywhere from 30 degrees to 70 that day, I’m waiting. Smart, right?
  • Not much else to report. Life is good.

Saying Good-bye January 18, 2010

Posted by Kimmothy in Experience, Fam Damily, Friends.

We were in the middle of watching 30 Rock the other night when I got a text from my good friend Annette that said “My mom died today.” Talk about a mood nosedive – I felt like I got punched in the gut.

Knowing the chaos that surrounds a person the day (and days after) they lose a loved one, I sent her a text back and told her to call when she gets a chance to do so, knowing that might be awhile. The only other detail she told me was that she got to be there with her mom when it happened. (Her mom had been in poor health and in a nursing home for over a year.) While it didn’t make up for what had just happened, knowing she was there lifted me a little bit.

The day my dad died, I was an hour and a half away. It happened suddenly and unexpectedly and by the time I got to the hospital it was too late. Happens to millions of people. On the flip side, my best friend lost both parents after prolonged illnesses and had to go through watching them suffer – I realize there’s no way to lose a parent that doesn’t suck. Sucks the life out of you. But getting the chance to tell them you love them one last time and say good-bye…as heart-stoppingly sad as that must be, I wish to God I’d have gotten that chance. Dumb luck put me as close as I was, so that I was able to be with my family immediately thereafter and I was thankful for that. Friends and loved ones started arriving within minutes to hug and cry and prop us up; and I was extremely grateful for that as well.

But I still feel doubly ripped-off. Losing him way too soon and not getting to say good-bye. Almost eight years later, that part still hurts the most.

I’m very glad Annette got her chance. I wish everybody could.