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Saying Good-bye January 18, 2010

Posted by Kimmothy in Experience, Fam Damily, Friends.

We were in the middle of watching 30 Rock the other night when I got a text from my good friend Annette that said “My mom died today.” Talk about a mood nosedive – I felt like I got punched in the gut.

Knowing the chaos that surrounds a person the day (and days after) they lose a loved one, I sent her a text back and told her to call when she gets a chance to do so, knowing that might be awhile. The only other detail she told me was that she got to be there with her mom when it happened. (Her mom had been in poor health and in a nursing home for over a year.) While it didn’t make up for what had just happened, knowing she was there lifted me a little bit.

The day my dad died, I was an hour and a half away. It happened suddenly and unexpectedly and by the time I got to the hospital it was too late. Happens to millions of people. On the flip side, my best friend lost both parents after prolonged illnesses and had to go through watching them suffer – I realize there’s no way to lose a parent that doesn’t suck. Sucks the life out of you. But getting the chance to tell them you love them one last time and say good-bye…as heart-stoppingly sad as that must be, I wish to God I’d have gotten that chance. Dumb luck put me as close as I was, so that I was able to be with my family immediately thereafter and I was thankful for that. Friends and loved ones started arriving within minutes to hug and cry and prop us up; and I was extremely grateful for that as well.

But I still feel doubly ripped-off. Losing him way too soon and not getting to say good-bye. Almost eight years later, that part still hurts the most.

I’m very glad Annette got her chance. I wish everybody could.



1. iamheatherjo - January 18, 2010

I’m so sorry you didn’t get to say goodbye. That was a very crappy time you were going through around then.

I actually didn’t get to say goodbye either and I was there. *sigh*

2. Shari Sherman - January 19, 2010

So Sorry, Kim.

3. LL Cool Joe - January 19, 2010

Yeah, I can totally understand that saying goodbye is very important.

I was in an on-line “friendship” that was damaging and I went and said goodbye to them and never contacted them again, it was the only way I could do it but looking back I know that was really really wrong of me because I never gave them a chance to say goodbye to me. I just couldn’t face reading “goodbye”. I’m a wuz.

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