jump to navigation

If cleanliness is next to godliness, I’ve been cooking sinner dinners December 29, 2008

Posted by Kimmothy in Cooking, Home Life.


I was organizing pictures from Christmas and I’d forgotten all about this one. That is what my PERFECT MOTHAFUCKIN’ APPLE PIE turned out looking like! I hate to be a braggart, but I was so nervous about this – I’m always nervous making something new for the first time (and no, I’d never made one before and no, I’m not a Communist), but making something new FOR SOMEONE ELSE? Ooh. Pressure. George loved it, Brian said it was the best one he’d ever tasted and his mom said it looked too pretty to eat. In short, it ruled.

Today I made quick work of taking down all evidence of Christmas in the house. I did leave up my white string of lights just like last year, but that does’t count. I was ready to have the stuff put away. While there are many opinions on when you should put them away, I got the urge to do it today. It’s part of my master plan to whip this hellhole of a house into shape before I go back to work next week. Along with having a washing machine again which will allow me clean undies, linens and work clothes, I think being clean and organized will put me in a good frame of mind to face work again. And I need to be in a good frame of mind right now, for several reasons. Somehow the dirt, dog hair and detrius (I can’t resist alliteration) snuck up on me and started taking over the house again. How does that happen? I guess those books don’t read themselves so I tend to ignore chores sometimes.

Here’s a hint when you know it’s time to clean your oven and stove. When you’re browning ground beef for dinner as I was doing tonight and the stove burner catches fire, including foot high flames, and smoke starts pouring out of the oven. I thought we were finally going to get to use our fire extinguisher, but Brian got it out by quickly turning it off and lifting up the entire stovetop to snuff it out at the source. It looks like a diner’s old ass grease pit under there. I should’ve been wearing a dirty white t-shirt, paper hat and a nametag with “Mel” on it all this time, had I known.

I guess I picked a good week to clean.


Scenes from a southern Christmas December 24, 2008

Posted by Kimmothy in Cooking, Holidays, Home Life, Pets, Photoblog, Shopping, The Man.

I haven’t done a photo post in awhile and since I have a ton of stuff to do, what better way to procrastinate than upload a bunch of pictures and write about them? Giddyup!

That was the moon the other night. If I had a better camera, the picture would show the skeletal branches of the hickory tree in our front yard that the moon was peeking through and the creepy slivery clouds scudding by. It felt cold enough to snow and looked like it should snow, but no.

Our annual game of Please Wear The Antlers For One Fucking Second So I Can Take A Picture.

The massive tree in the middle of the Village where we went shopping yesterday. It’s no Rockefeller Center, but it’s not too shabby.

He looks pissed. He wasn’t. I just asked if he had fun shopping with me yesterday and he said “It was the least pain-in-the-ass and most fun Christmas shopping I’ve ever done.”

I TOLD you I had a thing for lamp posts! And ones decorated for Christmas? Be still my heart! One day I hope to own my own.

I’m about to turn all this into a pie. My cousin just freaked out and scolded me for using storebought crusts and I told her to suck it. I’m under enough pressure as it is to make a decent filling – I’m going to attempt my first crust as well? I don’t think so.

Oral fixation tools for quitting the damn cigarettes. Brian suggested one more oral tool I could use anytime I wanted.

SOME people ENJOY wearing antlers, you stupid animal!

This one is similar to the one I used in our Christmas cards this year except a miracle happened and in the good picture, the dog was actually looking at the camera with his head tilted all cute. Which was because of the beeper on the camera’s self timer. Once the excitement of the beeping wore off, the rest of the pictures looked like this.

One last side note: Ten years ago tonight the dude in that picture above asked me to marry him. I said yes. We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into that night, but here we are ten years later, still hanging out together and making each other laugh every day. I think it was a good decision.

If I don’t talk with you between now and tomorrow, I hope everybody has an amazing Christmas with tons of love, laughter, food and fun.