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Malaisey June 24, 2011

Posted by Kimmothy in Life.

This morning shortly after we woke up, I told Brian my dream: “I dreamt we had sex last night.” His eyes got wide then he said, “So did I.” I performed a quick inspection of my region to make sure we hadn’t actually banged unconsciously (wouldn’t be the first time) and found we hadn’t. A perfect example of the level of lethargy we’ve reached: dreaming about sex instead of putting forth the effort to actually do it. We had a good laugh about it – faithful to each other even in our dreams! Awww….puke. But still, that’s some weird Inception shit right there.

Summer set in a few weeks before it officially started and long stretches of triple digit temperatures have me in my annual Seasonal Affective Disorder, Hot Weather Edition. I haven’t been motivated to do anything beyond what is absolutely necessary to function and it’s beginning to get on my nerves. Nothing is particularly wrong, per se, but nothing is cause for cartwheels either. And I’ve set a very low bar for what could be considered exciting, so I’m basically a big ball of blah. I haven’t written here or anywhere else beyond a quick Tweet or Facebook status in a month, because I can barely stand myself, let alone subject anyone else to me.

This isn’t good. The only remedy I can think of to this (barring drugs, which sadly is no longer an option) is altering my perceptions and appreciating whatever miniscule good thing that may occur throughout a day. That bubbly sound and beautiful smell when the coffee finishes brewing, the actual coffee itself. Watching the fireflies (Brian calls them that; I call them lightning bugs – is that a north/south thing?) and spiders catching and spinning up their prey when it’s finally cool enough to be outside after the ball of fire sets for the day. My evening walks and/or bike rides that I’ve started back doing, albeit sporadically. Being into the long stretch of good books I’ve been on lately. Lunch the other day with my three new co-workers, all of whom I’m beginning to get to know and really like. The new vehichle, which I still can’t believe is mine every time I climb into it. The occasional thunderstorm respites that make everything greener and cooler and alive again, however temporarily.

Considering all the insanity occuring in the world right now and always, my piddly shit is nothing. I know this, which is why I never allow a pity party go on for too long. Being appreciative feels a whole lot better than whining like a little bitch – thank you, El Capitan Obvious, but always good to acknowledge. I feel better already, just writing it.

Hell, who knows – maybe we’ll even have actual waking sex this weekend.



1. Whiskeymarie - June 30, 2011

I feel ya. It hasn’t been quite that hot here (yet), but my summer unemployment, coupled with “hot enough for me” weather pretty much has me wanting to not do much of anything beyond reading and having deep, meaningful conversations with my pets.

Not so much horrible, but definitely “meh.”

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