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Parking Violation June 4, 2010

Posted by Kimmothy in Experience, Life, Shopping, Uncategorized, Walmart.
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Scene (Exterior): Target parking lot, the Tuesday after Memorial Day, approximately 11:40am. Our heroine (you know…me…) has just parked her husband’s truck and has begun the short journey into the store, happily anticipating the typical anti-Walmart experience: cleanliness, good lighting, and most of all, the friendly employees who don’t act as though serving their customers is akin to severe pain. But then, from near distance in the peaceful quiet morning comes a loud, croak-like voice.

Toad Lady: “Hey! Hey you, girl with the red hair!”

Me: (At first thinking that can’t be me; I just dyed my hair back to brown)(Then slowly realizing, damn she probably does mean me – the dye job did turn out really shitty) Turning around, she sees the source of the voice and asks “Yes?”

TL: “You need to move your truck up some – I can’t fit into this parking spot.” (She is driving a rolling cliche’, an old, beat-up Honda Accord, circa 1990 or maybe older)

Me: (Quickly scans the parking lot and notices many empty parking spaces, in fact a virtual plethura of choices, but okay) “Ma’am, your car can fit; if you want I’ll guide you in and let you know when to stop.”

TL: “No; I think you need to move your truck.”

Me: (Starting to laugh) “Um…no, I don’t think so. Your car can easily fit into the spot or even better, go park somewhere else.”

TL: “Bitch.” (Proceeds then to pull forward slowly until she lightly taps the hitch on the back bumper)

Me: (Laughing even harder) And in a total assholey condescending tone, “See there; you did it!” (Turns back around and walks into store, muttering to myself)

End scene.

Commentary:

– You know when you have someone acts like an asshole to you and you can’t think of any good comebacks until three days later and then hate yourself ? I think this might be the first time I had the balls to pretty much say exactly what I wanted to say in the moment. High five.

– This is exactly the sort of behavior I expect at my friendly neighborhood Walmart; I’ve never had any unpleasantness at Target. Any Target, anywhere. This is why I sometimes choose Target, even though I know I’m going to end up paying a few dollars more for things like dishwashing soap and cotton balls. Because everyone is happy at Target. Usually.

– This is the South; the part of the country with the reputation for the sweet accents and tea and hospitality. This behavior, while completely understandable somewhere say, like, Brooklyn, is unacceptable here. GODDAMMIT, WHAT HAPPENED TO COMMON COURTESY!?!

– I think that might be the second time in my life someone has called me a bitch. Someone who doesn’t know me that is – haha!

– This was meant in no offense to Hondas or their owners; I think they are a fine company who makes nice vehicles and  I’d love to have a CRV. It just so happened this crazy bitch was driving one.

– This whole ugly incident can be traced back to the fact I still don’t have my car fixed. In fact today marks the six week anniversary of the day it caught a ride home on a tow truck. See how everything goes along smoothly for awhile financially and then one leetle bitty thing happens and we get fucked all over again? It’s SO FUNNY!

– The store didn’t have Brian’s brand of deoderant nor the dog food I usually buy that had been on sale. Normally I appreciate a good irony story. Not this time. 

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Comments»

1. Culture Choc 2010 - June 4, 2010

I got rear-ended yesterday and the cop didn’t want to take an accident report – too much work I guess? AND I have damage. Is everyone nuts?

Kim - June 5, 2010

What the???
Wow.

2. Heather - June 4, 2010

Bitch!

People are rude like that around here all the time. I can’t even imagine what I would have said. It definitely would have depended on my mood whether I wanted to be bitchy or playful with the jackass.

We didn’t do a formal police report when I bumper tapped a guy on the expressway over the winter. We just filled out a form that exchanged insurance information and everything worked out a-okay.

Kim - June 5, 2010

I was thinking along the lines of NYC, Chicago or any big city in my description of rudeness, but I didn’t want to perpetuate a stereotype and since I haven’t yet BEEN to Chicago (boo!) I don’t know that firsthand for certain.

3. morethananelectrician - June 4, 2010

I didn’t know my wife was down there yesterday!

Kim - June 5, 2010

Hahahaha!

4. Swistle - June 5, 2010

I don’t know if this story is more FUNNY or more INFURIATING—which is, of course, the hallmark of an excellent anecdote.

Kimmothy - June 7, 2010

I was so hoping you’d see this, what with all your amazing Target anecdotes!

5. shmode - June 7, 2010

I’m with Swistle, I dither between pissed off and laughing – I could be just nuts too. I’ve never been to a Tarjay in my life, but I’ve been to a Walmart and thought for sure you went to the wrong parking lot by accident.

Kimmothy - June 7, 2010

I think (sadly) people just don’t show each other the common courtesy that used to be the norm.
Boy, that made me sound old.

6. Shari Sherman - June 15, 2010

First, you best not be talkin’ bout Hondas! Black Honda and Vannie would not be happy. Second, this freaking heat is making everyone cranky!

Kimmothy - June 15, 2010

I would think all Honda drivers would be as happy as you are, but sadly that wasn’t the case.
Today was so hot I got road rage against myself.


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