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Floaty Hope March 13, 2010

Posted by Kimmothy in Baby-Making, Bloggie Friends.
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Wow. The response from Swistle’s post has been hee-yuge and every new comment and email I get gives me a little more hope. Which in turn gives me inspiration and confidence to think: You know? I think we can actually do this. We’re good people. We’d be good parents. We WANT to be parents, and we’re willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen. We’ve overcome a lot of obstacles, both together and individually and there’s no reason this one should be any different.

I know this process could end up being a rather long one and I’m okay with that. Because the point is we’d be progressing toward a goal and being proactive about it again, instead of sitting around in a bowl of inertia. Even with the disappointment that went along with the fertility situation, I felt a happy buoyancy the majority of the time, because we were actively working toward the goal. Every doctor’s appointment, every syringeful of medication and pill I took, every time that damn ultrasound wand got stuck up where the sun don’t shine – all of it was worth it. Even now, because the way I see it, that was all part of the journey we’ve chosen to take in order to make a family. For months and months I stopped hoping and imagining this family, but I’m starting to see it again. And man, it’s a beautiful sight.

He and I have been having a lot more conversations about planning for this in terms of reality rather than theory, and that’s been great too. For so long after our final consultation with the fertility doctor, when Brian promised me we wouldn’t give up, we just kind of stopped talking about it. Life went on, as it does, and even though it never left my mind, I wasn’t sure how to proceed. I have to remember that even though he’s always willing to talk about whatever I need to talk about, it’s pretty much always going to be up to me to open the communication lines. I’m cool with that.

I’m so thankful to everybody who’ve opened up to me, a stranger, about something so personal. It’s amazing to me, someone who doesn’t easily trust people in general, that so many people are so good and kind and want to help however they can. This has been a big revelation in so many ways.

I feel invigorated. And ready.

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Comments»

1. iamheatherjo - March 13, 2010

WOOHOO!!! It’s okay if it takes a while since I’m still trying to figure out this whole knitting a baby blanket thing. Maybe I’ll have it mastered by the time you get your little one because I’ve decided that the first one I finish that doesn’t have any (noticeable) mistakes in it goes to you. 😉

You know I’m here. I’ll fill out paperwork, I’ll write a complimentary essay on you, I’ll make phone calls…name it. I can’t say that I’ll babysit because, well, I don’t like to, but anything else! Haha!

Okay. I’ll babysit but you’d better not try to pay me in gum. I will take licorice or peanut m&ms though.

Kimmothy - March 13, 2010

Have I told you lately that I love you?
Just in case I haven’t: I love you.

2. Vickie - March 14, 2010

Hey, I was in your very boots in 2000. But, it was my 6th pregnancy attempt (lst IVF cycle, miscarried twins @9 weeks), and read ADOPTION AFTER INFERTILITY after an internet buddy mailed me the book “Just read the first 3 chapters on dealing with infertility; I know you aren’t considering adoption…”
Well, I read the book, and then turned the page to chapter 4. Wow. Yeah. What about adoption? When I asked my husband how he felt about adopting? His response: “RELIEVED!” Who knew?!
We now have two gorgeous sons, aged 9 and 8, 11 months apart, 2 separate adoptions from S. Korea. We hit the jackpot twice! Each cost much less than our IVF cycle. And when you adopt, you may not experience pregnancy; but you experience PARENTING. Which is the desired outcome, isn’t it?!
Feel free to email me if you want

Kimmothy - March 16, 2010

Wow; I’ll be emailing you!

3. Tiffany - March 14, 2010

I’m all excited and nervous (in a good way) and excited and happy and eeeep! for you. And just so’s ya know, I can’t think of a more kick-ass babysitter than Heather. Just don’t leave any horror movies around unless you want your little one inducted into THAT particular club at a very early age!

iamheatherjo - March 14, 2010

It’s actually funny that you say this because I’M the one always asking Lea “Are you sure you should let the girls watch that?!?!” She filters through things she thinks will REALLY scare them and scar them for life but I’m almost positive she likes to scare them just a teeeny bit because they’re at the age where they still jump into bed with her. 😉

Kimmothy - March 16, 2010

I would trust Heather more than most people I know IRL!


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