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Movin’ on Up (and Down) January 16, 2010

Posted by Kimmothy in Friends.

I’m feeling a little trepidatious for two different friends of mine right now.

Friend #1: She’s been married to her husband for, oh God I don’t know – I think since 1991 or so. They live in a small town in North Carolina and have for over ten years now. They have four kids, approximate ages seven to seventeenish. The husband is not what you’d call really…nice? Demonstrative with his emotions? The type that doesn’t acknowledge birthdays or anniversaries or anything special with his wife, not even by saying the words, “Happy anniversary.” I’d feel a little more guilty saying that, except my friend frequently talks about it on Facebook for all of her friends to see what a fun guy she’s married to. Anyway, the other day he told my friend he’s decided he is burnt out with work and ready for a change. Without consulting her feelings or asking her opinion whatsoever (at least he’s consistent), he is moving the family back down to the small town I’m from (and they both lived there for a few years which is how I know them) in Florida. He has decided to take a break from working in order to regroup and ostentatiously spend time with his family. She is in shock, to say the least. She is coping by using prayer, which is what she’s always done throughout the marriage, but I can’t imagine what it feels like to have no choices with regard to major life changes like that. And don’t say she has the choice to leave him, because that’s not how this works for her. I’m in the middle of composing a long letter to her but I’m having trouble coming up with things to say besides I’m sorry and I’m here whenever you want or need to talk.

Friend #2: I’ve talked about her before, the one I refer to as the Princess of Darkness. I believe the last time I wrote about her here, she’d just moved back in with her ex-boyfriend, Drunky, and was living in the guestroom of his trailer while he entertained a new lady friend in what used to be her bedroom. Well, big changes are on tap for the Princess. Through the magic of Facebook, she has reconnected with a guy she went to high school with. They were actually boyfriend and girlfriend in fifth grade, she tells me, when he tried to give her a bracelet and her parents made her give it back to him, which is kind of what made her start hating her parents. Makes sense. Well now after almost four weeks and several hundred hours of talking on the phone, the Princess has found her true love. The answer to all her prayers. One problem. He lives in Chicago (with his parents? It’s possible) and she’s in Florida. But that’s okay. Because in mere weeks, as soon as she gets her taxes done, she is outta there. He’s driving down, helping her load up her 80’s wardrobe, DVD and dragon collections (not kidding) and bringing her “home.” He’s already promised her nothing less than a 3-carat diamond ring, a Carribean cruise (he’s already been on one with his parents so he knows she would love it) and to take care of her for the rest of her life. She in return, is going to teach him how to use his computer and hopefully talk him into getting cable TV. To summarize, she’s leaving a great job, school three months’ shy of finishing, the two kids she pays child support for but has no interest in having a relationship with, and entire way of life to move 1,200 miles away with a guy she hasn’t laid eyes on since 1986.

It could work, right? Personally I get nervous when I make the commitment to buy something online sight unseen, but apparently she’s not quite as risk-adverse. Some friends and I have been talking about it – the what if’s. Not even getting into the sex part because that’s obvious, but what if he’s not who he’s portraying himself to be? What if he has unsavory table manners? What if he doesn’t have a table? What is his farting policy? Even a background check doesn’t reveal these important points.

But I guess these shouldn’t be my concerns. She’s not a nice person, but I still care about her safety and well-being. I told a mutual friend of ours last night though that nothing we say is going to deter her or change her mind and we have to recognize when to surrender and let whatever will be will be. All I can do is hope for the best. Maybe it’ll turn out to the be the best thing that ever happened to her. Maybe.



1. crisitunity - January 16, 2010

Friend #1: Yikes.


Kimmothy - January 16, 2010

I concur.

Taoist Biker - January 19, 2010

Uh…yeah. Me too.

*blink blink blink*

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