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Mmm/Yuck! September 24, 2009

Posted by Kimmothy in Foodies, Lists.
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Since I don’t seem to have completely gotten over the sickness in that I still can’t taste most things, I’ve been thinking about food more than usual for a few days. And that’s saying a lot.

Foods I like but hate the idea of either what they’re made of or the journey from their origins to my mouth or both:

Chicken – feathery, stringy, tendony, veiney , VOM

Hot Dogs – you’re not fooling me with your “100% beef.”

Mayo – Yes, I’d like some fat with a side of fat please? Plus some egg.

Veal – I’m sorry what a shitty life you had little baby cow. But damn are you tasty.

Escargot – Snails. Whoever thought it’d be a good idea to put one of these things in their mouth? Whoever they were – GENIUS.

Hamburger Helper – I’ve read the label and should probably just pick up a salt lick next time.

Foods I hate but wish I liked, if only to seem cool and/or normal:

Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwiches – hate so much that once the daycare had to call my parents and tell them I was crying and refusing to eat lunch and my parents told them to feed me Spaghettio’s instead. Because my parents ruled.

Filet mignon – I love pretty much all forms of beef, so why not this primo cut? It is a mystery.

Crawfish – WAAAY too much work for a puny, gritty payoff.

Soft cookies (ala Mrs. Fields) – I like my cookies like I like my men; firm and crispy.

S’mores – I will cook yours and hand them over for you all night long but do NOT ask me to eat that hot gooey mess. I’ll take the Hershey bar and the graham crackers. As long as they’re raw and no marshmellow has soiled them.

Cinnamon-based foods, like buns or toast or cookies – yet I love Big Red gum and Red Hots. Again, a mystery.

Collards – I’ve acclimated to living in the South in many ways but not this one. Tastes like dirty spinach.

Dark chocolate – If I wanted something bitter and not-sweet, I’d eat an onion.

Pop Tarts (thank you Heather, for reminding me of this one) – I WANT to like these convenient, sugary little squares of weirdness, but that goo in the middle makes me feel a little funny inside.

If you would’ve told me 10/20/30 years ago I would ever like these, I would have laughed in your face:

 Mushrooms

Swiss cheese

Grits

Artichoke hearts

Sushi

I’m especially picky and annoying about:

Fries have to be firm on the outside & soft in the middle. And preferably from McDonald’s, but if they’re homemade, I like crinkle cut and steak fries but then hell-to-the-no on shoestrings or tots.

Scrambled eggs have to be done enough to have some brown on them and must be HOT.

Pizza slices should have some brown cheese bubbles at the toppings/crust apex.

M ‘n M’s must be sorted by color before eating (really).

Love grapes, hate grape flavor.

Same with bananas.

Like eating raisins out of the box; can’t stand them in anything.

Love onion flavor, hate onions. But weirdly I’m beginning to come around a little on these; just for the love of God, cut them up SMALL.

Love most potato salads except the yellow mustardy shit from a store deli.

And last but not least, two Jew foods I love you’ve probably never heard of:

Gefilte fish – cold, in a jar, goes against everything I normally believe in.

Matzo ball soup – otherwise known as Jewish Penicillin; I’ve never introduced it to a Gentile who also didn’t immediately fall in love with it as well. The only thing I miss about my mom’s cooking.

Damn, I’m looking forward to tasting food again someday.

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Comments»

1. Taoist Biker - September 25, 2009

No PBJ and no soft cookies? That’s it, we’re officially NEVER sharing germs.

Kim - September 26, 2009

I know I’m in the minority on this; have taken a lot of flak for it over the years.

2. Heather - September 25, 2009

Filet is not my favorite, either.

Along with escargot (which I cannot see myself ever trying), I’d like to know who thought it was a good idea to eat most seafood. Lobster, crab, squid…c’mon! ::shivers::

Arent’ there raisins in the crack cookies? Or am I on drugs?

I love dark chocolate and marshmallows and that’s what I use to make my s’mores. You can keep the graham crackers though. I keep thinking I would like to make s’mores with toasty marshmallows smooshed in between two chocolate chip or peanut butter cookies instead…firm and crispy ones.

Kim - September 26, 2009

No raisins in the crack cookies; just lots of chips!

3. crisitunity - September 26, 2009

I don’t like dark chocolate, either. I think we’re missing a chromosome.

Kim - September 26, 2009

That could be the reason; never thought about it.

4. blahblahblah - September 26, 2009

crispy and firm men like cookies….hmmm. cookies.

5. morethananelectrician - September 27, 2009

I have now been blow the Mason/Dixon line for 15 years and I still don’t understand grits.

Kim - September 27, 2009

I like them but I never claimed to UNDERSTAND them.

6. Swistle - September 28, 2009

I HAAAAAATE raisins in things like cookies/muffins, ESPECIALLY if those things are WARM. I once ate a warm raisin inadvertently and THREW UP. (I don’t know why I seem to be a little proud of what is not a story that reflects well on me.)

I don’t like dark chocolate at all. Like, AT ALL. I can have it sitting in the house with me FOREVER, and finally in a DESPERATE FIT OF CHOCOLATE LONGING I will eat a tiny bit—and stop eating it because I don’t LIKE it.

I like Pop-Tarts but I’m picky about the flavor and also can’t explain why I like them. Because ick. But yum.

Kimmothy - September 29, 2009

I’ve done the same thing with dark chocolate – I *want* to like it but just can’t do it.

7. Whiskeymarie - October 4, 2009

I’ll forgive your liking mushrooms and overcooked eggs as long as you keep passing the s’mores my way.
😉


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