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Half a Bucket(list) August 6, 2009

Posted by Kimmothy in Experience, Life, Lists, Meme, Whatever.
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Always a sucker for a good list, I ran across something online recently called “50 Things Every Woman Should Do Before They Die.” I’d link to it but the balmy 105 degree heat index has sapped my will to live, let alone exert any extra energy. But don’t worry; I’m only doing the first 25. For now. And in case the heat is also making your brain a little fuzzy, I’ll let you know now the ones I’ve crossed out means I can already check the item off my list. Hey, I’m only trying to make your life better.

1. Ride on the Back of a Motorcycle – My last serious boyfriend from high school turned out to be a controlling, jealous psycho who has the distinct honor of being the only person whose ever verbally and physically abused me. On the plus side, his dad lived on Long Island and loved motorcycles and when we went up there to visit him one Spring Break we took an amazing day-long trip on his Honda Goldwings that traversed most of the length of the island, from his house in Bethpage all the way to the ocean at Montauk Point. I remember the day with vivid, blue-sky, white puffy cloud clarity.

2. Date Someone with Visible Tattoos – There’s only been one and I also married him.

3. Buy a Tool Kit & Learn How to Use It – I’m not crossing this one off yet because I don’t think only using hammers, nails and screwdrivers counts. Maybe when I learn to change a tire.

4. Travel Alone – I met this Australian lady once at the Woodstock reunion concert in 1994 who was recently divorced and dealing with it by spending one whole year traveling by herself. I thought that was the most awesome thing ever. While I’ve never had the luxury of something like that, I have done quite a bit of traveling alone (see last week when I solo’d almost 1,400 miles in Bessie). My favorite thing about it is being in an airport by myself. I’m not sure why, but it makes me feel exciting and mysterious.

5. Spend a Day at the Best Spa You Can Afford – Mmm, would be nice. I’d also love to see what I looked like after an entire day of head-to-toe relaxation and grooming.

6. Date Someone Older – Unless I use the term “date” very loosely, than technically no. I was surprised after realizing that I truly am a pedo and always have been.

7. Date Someone Younger – The biggest age difference for this one was eight years my junior, but I knew it wouldn’t work out. For a lot of reasons, but mostly because I was married at the time.

8. Live in a Foreign Country – No thanks. Unless this place keeps going where it’s headed, then I might like to check out Canada. I’ve met some really cool people from there, plus I love their maple syrup.

9. Have a Romance with Someone Who Doesn’t Speak English – Does the time Brian had sex in the Atlantic Ocean with a French girl count? No? Okay.

10. Meet One of Your Idols – I can’t believe I’ve actually done this! Last September here on campus, the oft repeated Kevin Smith Q & A I attended and somehow got the balls to ask him a Q and he answered me with an almost fifteen minute long A. One might argue that doesn’t really count as “meeting” him, but I’d punch that one in the face.  

11. Do Something Your Friends Don’t Approve Of – Check.

12. Delve Into Your Personal Psychology – It took awhile, but this year finally broke me enough to where I think it’s probably prudent I talk to a professional once a month.

13. Live By Yourself – Not for long, but there was a brief time period between Delorme and Brian. Of course by the time I got over freaking out about it and actually started enjoying it, Brian came along. Oh well, that was fun too.

14. Learn to Say No – I’m guessing they don’t just mean sexually, because I certainly know how to do that. It’s the saying no to everything else part I have problems with.

15. Give Time to a Cause You Believe In – An embarrassingly small amount of time, but I’ve volunteered with the Hillsborough County Republican Party, Friends of the Library and for one day at the Harvest Hope Food Bank. That’s pathetic and I need to look into doing more. Like, seriously.

16. Forgive Your Parents for Whatever Mistakes They Made – Shit. NEXT!!!

17. Have Some Photos Taken of You That You Really Like – Heather? Are you available anytime soon because I have the feeling your skillz and your skillz alone would make that possible.

18. Learn to Drive – I scoffed at this one at first until I remembered my aunt from NYC didn’t until she was in her late 20’s and moved out of the city. I’m sure there are a lot of people who live there who are like that. I however, cannot fathom not being able to do this. I would shrivel up and die.

19. Become a Better Public Speaker – Ha! Ten years ago I needed Xanax to make it through a Summer semester, six-week-long public speaking class that only had fifteen or twenty people in it. I go out of my way to avoid situations in which I need to speak in public in front of more than a couple of people at a time so I don’t see that happening anytime soon.

20. Understand How Fortunate You Really Are – I have moments of this. But if anyone knows of a way I can make that feeling constant and permanent, could you share your secret?

21. Break Destructive Patterns – Hi, my name is Kim and I’m …

22. Evolve Your Look & Scare Yourself Often! – Many days you can still find me dressed in a style very similar to Kurt Cobain circa 1990 and the only time I scare myself is before I put eyeliner on in the morning, so maybe I should heed this one.

23. Take a Risk & Prove Naysayers Wrong – There were people who said I was insane to move up here with Delorme and away from my friends and family when I was 23. There were people who said I’d be insane to get back together with Brian after the separation. There were people who said I’d be insane for leaving a good job and people I love to move back here. Fuck the naysayers, fuck fuck the naysayers!!

24. Fall Head-Over-Heels in Love – So much fun and I highly recommend it.

25. Drive Quickly – What the…? Dammit, and the list was going so well too. Well I have gotten some speeding tickets in my time and there was one night we made our friend Mikey push his convertible Mustang up to 100 just so our hair would majorly blow backwards, but I guess then I was actually only riding quickly…but I’ll go with a yes because of the damn speeding tickets. Especially the one from the asshole cop on the Jersey Turnpike; what a schmuck he was. Nowadays I’m happy when Bessie makes it from 0 – 60 in five minutes, but someday, SOMEDAY I’ll drive quickly again.

Have I ever mentioned I like lists?

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Comments»

1. Jessica - August 6, 2009

Love your response to #16. I know we can all empathize with you on that…

Fun list. Now I want to play the check-off game (I’m a big “make a list and check things off” kind of girl).

Kimmothy - August 7, 2009

I didn’t think about it, but I just counted – 15 out of 25 things isn’t *too* bad, but I need to work on getting more checked off!

2. Taoist Biker - August 7, 2009

Hey, I think that’s a pretty damned well checked-off list!

I, uh, used a GPS once to confirm #25. Shh.

Kimmothy - August 7, 2009

I’d love to be able to drive A LITTLE quickly again.
Maybe someday.

3. iamheatherjo - August 7, 2009

I would LOVE to take pictures of you and I think we should arrange that session very, very soon. 😀

I’m interested to see the rest of that list!

Kimmothy - August 9, 2009

You might actually be able to make me look good!
I think I’m posting the rest of the list next week.


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