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After All, Athletes Are Celebrities Too August 4, 2009

Posted by Kimmothy in Celebrities, Marriage, Sports, The Man.

This is neither new nor groundbreaking and it’s been going on for most of my life. Well since tweendom at the very least.

I care too much about celebrities.

I know I’m not alone in this because if I were, things like US Weekly, Entertainment Tonight and half the Internet wouldn’t exist. Not that that makes me feel much better, but it always helps a little when you know you’re not alone in your psychosis. Ask anyone in AA; they’ll tell you the same thing.

I feel it’s a fairly unharmful obsession hobby.  Besides an unmailed fan letter to Stephen King in 1985 and getting the balls to stand up and ask Kevin Smith a question at one of his Q & A’s last year, I’ve never attempted to go out of my way to make contact with anyone famous. I’ve stalked, sure, but only in my mind. Well, there was the time Sister and I spent hundreds of dollars on self-addressed stamped envelopes trying to win an All Access Trip to Toyko with Bon Jovi before reading the fine print and finding out Florida residents were not allowed to enter the fucking contest – I’ll see you in Hell, MTV, but even that wasn’t a total waste, as both of us got passports out of the deal and how useful is that? Ah, the early 90’s.

Apparently though, just because I feel this is an innocent pasttime, not everyone around me has always felt the same way. My first serious boyfriend, a tall, skinny, funny-looking-but-nevertheless-cocky dweebhole named George had big problems with my strong feelings toward Michael Jackson and Prince. So much so that I was finally forced to take down my hundreds of pictures and posters that covered my bedroom walls because I was sick of hearing about it all the time. I eventually wised up though and instead of having fights over Eddie Murphy as well, I simply told him my curfew was 1 a.m. on Friday nights and 11:30 p.m. on Saturday nights so I could be home in time to watch SNL every week. My brilliance is really underestimated sometimes.

Brian deals with it really well most of the time. There have been plenty of times when he might be staying up late, sees something about Kid Rock on the channel guide and tapes it for me. Or listens patiently and shares his opinion when I excitedly tell him some dirty gossip about someone famous. He’s really pretty good about it all. Except sometimes. We were having a sort-of-but-not-really argument a few weeks ago when he exclaimed that he wasn’t interested in hearing whatever I was telling him right at that moment. I snippily answered back with, “Well I don’t always care to talk about POLITICS, but I know you care about THAT, so I DO.” And like the always-has-an-answer-for-everything fucker he is, he said, “Well POLITICS, unlike CELEBRITIES, directly affect our lives!” I hate when he does that. And by “that” I mean “is right about something we’re arguing about.”

But. Leave it to Sister to give me the comeback I needed a few weeks too late. We were taking a walk around the hotel the other night, discussing all aspects of life and whatnot. She shares my deep celebrity love and we were talking about it and how our husbands are cool for the most part except when they aren’t. Then she said it. “They can’t really say that much to us about it though, when all this is is our sports!”

Holy hell, did she hit the nail on the head with that one. It’s so true.  They get insane over football, basketball, whateverball and we (for the most part) enthusiastically support them. This is just like that except replace athlete recruiting, scores, stats, plays, records, and weekend-long, non-stop obnoxious announcers (I’m looking at you, Lee Corso) screaming in our living rooms with celebrity overdoses, marriages, divorces, pregnancies and bad plastic surgery.

I can’t believe I’ve never thought of the comparison before. Sister always has been smarter than me, after all.

But I’m SO prepared the next time he has a smartass comment. Because there will be a next time, oh yes there will be. Given that the college football season kicks off (Ha – I bet nobody’s ever used that one before) in a little less than a month, I’m sure the opportunity will present itself soon. Oh, I’m not saying I don’t enjoy some of it too – we live in a big college town smack in the middle of the Southeastern Conference and I work at the same place the Gamecocks call home. I get it and I like it. And I’m very happy for Brian, who every year at this time loses his mind (present year included) and can’t even talk about it without doing a little dance and excitedly pummeling the arm rests of the couch. 

That’s all well and good. But the next time I read him something from Perez, he better at least FAKE some interest and recognize that he likes things as trivial as I do and sometimes life doesn’t always have to be all serious. Is all I’m sayin’.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go pick up this month’s issue of Vanity Fair – Heath Ledger is on the cover.



1. morethananelectrician - August 4, 2009

Isn’t he dead?

Kimmothy - August 5, 2009

Yes. But that never stopped anyone from getting on the cover of a magazine and it’s never stopped me from buying said magazine.

2. iamheatherjo - August 4, 2009

I’m trying to anticipate Brian’s response in defense of sports, because I bet there will be one…and it’ll be good. Hee! 😉

Kimmothy - August 5, 2009

Oh, he tried! He said that sports “brings in money locally.” I answered with “So does concerts, plays and the movies that are made here all the time.”

3. Swistle - August 5, 2009

I like to read about celebrities, too. And I would argue right back on that “politics affect our lives” thing, since VERY OFTEN they DON’T: either they affect someone else’s life, or they get talked about but never happen, or they do happen but it turns out they have no impact.

Kimmothy - August 5, 2009

This is so true, but unfortunately I’ll never win an argument with him in politics. It’s annoying.

4. Taoist Biker - August 5, 2009

I’ve actually had to cut back on my sports. I realized I was resting a whole lot more of my happiness on what a handful of strangers did than was really a good idea.

And every time Virginia lost to Virginia Tech a) my blood pressure would spike and b) I’d set a very bad example for my son about language. And hitting inanimate objects. And screaming nonsensibly. Etc.

Kimmothy - August 5, 2009

I’m very thankful that while Brian does get disappointed by the Gamecocks (OFTEN), he’s never gotten angry. Sister’s normally mild-mannered husband has gotten so pissed over games that she’s actually had to talk to him about it. It’s not healthy.

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