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Step Away from the Television June 23, 2009

Posted by Kimmothy in Tee Vee, Whatever, World, Youth.
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I’ll keep it brief, I promise, but here are a couple of Lessons I’ve Learned from Jon & Kate:

1. As tempting as it may be to sell out your family’s privacy for a reality TV show, don’t do it.

2. If you feel a need to verbally castrate your husband, don’t do it in front of a national audience. Repeatedly. For four years.

3. If you feel a need to verbally castrate your husband at all, you maybe shouldn’t be married to him.

4. If your husband tells you he’s not happy, believe him. Seriously. If you don’t, the next thing you know there will be pictures of him on the front of US Weekly partying in bars with women who aren’t you.

5. Never, I repeat NEVER get a haircut like that.

Besides that trainwreck last night, I also decided it would be a great idea to watch this MTV show. I know – I think I was trying to see how many IQ points I could subtract off of my total number. This is what happens when Brian isn’t home at night and I have nobody but the dog to witness this embarrassing choice of viewing. Anyway, it was this docu-style, “reality” type drama, set at a college in Madison, Wisconsin where five or six college freshman film themselves with shaky, jerky cameras and narrate what’s going on to capture the “college experience.”

The worst part is I can’t even claim to have watched it by accident, as it was on the MTV On Demand channel, so I actually had to push several buttons on the remote to see it. And I watched almost three full episodes before I snapped out of my mouth-breathing, zoned out trance, punched myself in the face and turned it off in disgust. Not disgust for them, for myself. No, the kids on that show pretty much embody everything I picture a college freshman to be these days. One dude got a $2400 tattoo, even though his sister reminded him their mom “makes necklaces” in order to pay for him to be in school. Another one got kicked out of his dorm room (not clear about the reason) after his mom had sent the $6000 housing payment and ended up getting an apartment with two 21-year-olds – you know, for the sweet partying opportunities. 

It was…not shocking. Really the only thing that sort of bothered me was how much the girls lived up to the slutty college girl stereotype. I understand that the average 18-year-old female and I have a very different set of sexual ethics, but even when I was that age I never acted like I was being filmed for Girls Gone Wild. I’m not claiming by any means to be morally superior; I’ve done my share of cringe-worthy things. But damn. Seeing how these girls acted during Spring Break – dude, I LIVED there. I’ve done the Daytona Beach thing many times and yeah, that included getting drunk and having sex. But I always knew the first and last name of the person I was having sex with and I never lost any blocks of time due to blackouts. They just act like they have it all together; they know what the hell they’re doing…and, wow do I sound old right now. Get off my lawn you little troublemakers!

This is why I don’t watch a lot of TV, especially in the Summertime. But I am excited for tonight – he has to work late again, so I’ll totally get to watch Paris Hilton’s My New BFF! Ha. Not really. He didn’t get home until 11:00 last night and we stayed up until 1:00 just so we could catch up with each other which sucked ass, so tonight I’m going over to where they’re working so I can be his tile apprentice. Or be their errand girl. Or try to build some brain cells back up by reading a book. Whatever; it doesn’t matter.  

I’m a little nervous about the consultation appointment with Dr. Fertility Thursday, but I’m doing my best not to dwell on it too much. There will be plenty of time for worrying when I can’t sleep Wednesday night. Wow, planning ahead for worrying. That has to be really healthy.

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Comments»

1. Swistle - June 23, 2009

Ha! I do that too: “I won’t use up the worrying NOW, I’ll worry when we’re CLOSER.” It reminds me of those war stories about a truce for Christmas, where you think, “If it can be done for one day, why not for always?” (Answer is the same in both cases: one day is easy.)

Kimmothy - June 23, 2009

I never thought about it like that, but that is so true!

2. iamheatherjo - June 23, 2009

>>But I always knew the first and last name of the person I was having sex with

Where WAS your sense of adventure? Sheesh.

Kimmothy - June 23, 2009

Ha – probably with someone who was less of a nerdy geek than I’ve always been. Maybe I’d be more well adjusted today had I been more adventurous then. I think about that sometimes.

Taoist Biker - June 24, 2009

That might explain my lack of adjustment too, then!

As for TV, at least there’s always Deadliest Catch, eh?

3. crisitunity - June 24, 2009

Good (and funny) analysis of Jon & Kate. I am just as sickened by the college students you describe, and I am still in my twenties. I think you ought to get off my lawn. 🙂

Kimmothy - June 25, 2009

I know all college students aren’t like they are portrayed on MTV. At least I hope they aren’t.

4. LL Cool Joe - June 24, 2009

Good luck with tomorrow Kim. Sorry I’m still having issues getting on to your blog, but I will when I can.

I hope you sleep ok tonight.

Kimmothy - June 25, 2009

Damn! I hate that my blog isn’t easily accessable to you now!

5. Laura - June 26, 2009

You know? I don’t know many 18-25 year olds AT ALL that I think have their sh!t together. Key there – that *I* think have their sh!t together. They, of course, have a different opinion of what that entails. My co-worker’s 20 year old son just took his dad’s COMPANY TRUCK on a joyride with his girlfriend, while on a SUSPENDED LICENSE. Said truck was impounded. He has no idea why his parents are so mad at him.

Yeah. I kind of avoid MTV now. It just pisses me off. Not enough music videos anymore, anyway.

crisitunity - June 26, 2009

HOLY GOD. I would have been dead, twitching little pieces of meat if I ever tried anything like that.

Kimmothy - June 27, 2009

I don’t like admitting I’m maybe a little too old for MTV now, so every once in awhile I’ll waste a half hour or so of my life and watch The Hills or something. It never really turns out well.

crisitunity - June 27, 2009

MTV has gotten ever more juvenile as the years have gone by. Admitting you’re too old for it in its current incarnation is like admitting you’re too old to believe in Santa Claus.

6. Taoist Biker - June 27, 2009

I agree with that. I pretty much gave up on MTV forever round about the time of the London “Real World” season.

And yeah, WTF with the kid stealing the truck? Isn’t that punishable by nailing the scrotum to a stump and lighting it on fire?


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