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Repeat performances June 8, 2009

Posted by Kimmothy in Baptists, Fam Damily, Home Life.
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We had a crazy working weekend, which makes today kind of suck because I feel like we kind of didn’t have a weekend at all, but the extra money right now is awesome and helpful, so I’m not really complaining, just stating a fact. Lucky for us, or should I say Brian, it wasn’t too stupid outside so I was able to help him do some landscape work. Had it been today, I would’ve had to politely decline. As it was, we worked mostly in the late afternoon/evening and I had fun throwing down some new mulch and planting flowers. He knows he can always tempt me with a trip to the Home Depot.

I love many flowers, but right now these are ranking pretty high up there:

Bonus Green Thumb points if you know what they are! Brian usually does pretty well picking out flowers even though when he was in school they didn’t interest him quite as much as trees, plants and bugs. The only one we really disagree on are Snap Dragons. He loves them and would use them every time, but I think they look like aliens and/or female genitalia. Let’s not analyze that statement too deeply.

At his parents’ yesterday the big story was my sister-in-law, a.k.a. Brian’s step-sister’s recent engagement announcement. George told us her boyfriend (another Brian, jeez) called him the other night to do the very cool thing of asking George for Kelly’s hand in marriage. That’s pretty much unheard of these days and we both expressed how cool we thought it was. George agreed and said it was very touching to him. Then all of a sudden Brian’s mom busted out with, “I wonder if he called Kelly’s step-father and asked him the same thing.”

*All converasation ceases and awkward silence ensues*

Brian kind of gave me a side-eye and later told me it really pissed him off. To what purpose? George is already very sensitive to the fact he wishes he and his daughter had a closer relationship(and Iris is very aware of this), so at best it was just a thoughtless remark and she didn’t realize how it bad it sounded and at worst it was that passive-aggressive, sweet-toned evil thing southern women have perfected over generations. THEN, she started right in with how they plunked down a ton of money for Kelly’s first wedding and how they certainly would NOT be doing that again…and the atmosphere in the room became so tense, I excused myself from the table and pretended to have to go to the bathroom for a short while.

Dude. I felt so bad and embarrassed and…just shitty. I’m particularly sensitive to father/daughter relationships. And I’ve noticed as Brian’s mom gets older she is getting a little sassier and snippier, which okay, but I’d prefer stuff like that not to happen in front of me. Being around them for so many years, my tolerance for the awkward has gotten much higher, but it still totally catches me off guard sometimes.

She later gave me and the dog a ride home so Brian could help George finish yet another project and we talked a little about it. I can see some of her point, coming to it from the step-parent’s point of view, but on the other hand, George has been very, VERY generous with regard to her two sons (I say from the experience of being the recipient of his generosity many times), so I’d just rather not discuss any of it, at all.

I will say I was under the impression that for a second marriage, I thought most people played it pretty low-key. She’s already done the big expensive wedding with the three-hundred guests and poufy white dress and that one didn’t take. She loves to travel; I would’ve thought this time around maybe she’d want just to go off somewhere together and combine the wedding and honeymoon. That’s certainly what the hell I’d do. Right? I mean, I know of people who have actually done this and I just assumed it was the common ettiquette. So correct me if I’m wrong – what would YOU do for the second time around?

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Comments»

1. Fine For Now - June 8, 2009

Lantana!

2. Kim - June 8, 2009

Okay; that was fast!!!
Good call; I couldn't have done it myself! Except now I know what they look like and I want to buy every single one I see.

3. Shari - June 8, 2009

Plus butterflies love em!

4. iamheatherjo - June 9, 2009

I think you know what I'D do for the second time around. 😉

I was watching an episode of 'Bones' where the guy asked the girl's father for her hand in marriage and the father (who was Billy Gibbons from ZZ Top) said something along the lines of the daughter having both of their balls in a sling if she found out that two men thought they had any power over or right to give or take a hand that belongs to HER. I'm murdering the actual words I'm sure of it, but I liked that. 😉

5. LL Cool Joe - June 9, 2009

Well just to confuse you, sorry, I've had two ceremonies in my life, one was big and one was small, and both were wonderful in different ways.

There won't be a second time around for me.

6. crisitunity - June 9, 2009

Since I want something small and unobtrusive the first time around, I'm not sure I'd even TELL anyone the second time around.

Incidentally, Kelly's stepfather didn't create her with her mother. I know there are numerous exceptions to who you consider your "real" parent, but this sounds like it's a close family and the father was the sole appropriate guy to ask. (Feel free to contradict me.) And what a pot-stirrer that lady is! Yikes.

Heather, good call. 🙂

7. morethananelectrician - June 9, 2009

Figuring the only way my first one ends is with a wood chipper or a trip to the swamp…it would make my second marriage some kind of weird prison thing…I would really not want to think of that…

8. Kim - June 9, 2009

Shari – I can see why; they're so colorful and I just found purple ones too, so it's back to Home Depot we go.

Heather – Yes, I know what you'd do and that is a cool take on the whole thing; not that most southern girls would ever think like that!

Joe & MTAE – I like that attitude.

Cris – I agree. Brian's mom was a little troublemaker here.

9. Swistle - June 10, 2009

1. Those flowers are gorgeous and I've never seen them before. WANT.

2. I can tell you what I DID do! For my second wedding, we hired an elderly "we'll come to you" justice of the peace (and his wife and sister as witnesses, for $10 extra), and we got married at home with no guests. Then we decorated our car with "Just Married" stuff so people would honk and wave. Then we drove to the post office and dropped off a big heap of wedding announcements. Then we went and got our picture taken.

10. Julie - June 10, 2009

Kim – second weddings are great fun because your expectations and views on marriage are so different. I didn't just marry for love the second time. I married for so many other things, too. And here's what we did. We told our families we were getting married, so as to not offend them. Then we let them know that we were going to skip the big wedding thing and just go away and get married by ourselves. We found a nice bed and breakfast a few hours drive away, hired a minister to come to the Inn, and got married in the Inn's common room with the other Inn's guests as our witnesses. They sang that song "Going to the Chapel" as I came down the steps, and one of the guests even bought flowers for me to carry. We shared a cake and champagne with the guests afterward. It was lovely, and stress free, largely because we were completely focused on each other instead of the expectations of other people or the perfect planning of some enormous event. I highly recommend this route for first marriages, too. You can always throw a casual party for your friends and family afterward, if you feel the need.

11. Taoist Biker - June 18, 2009

When Dys told her parents we were engaged, her father expressed some surprise that, Southern boy that I am, I didn't ask him first. But as Heather said about the "Bones" episode, I didn't really feel like I should end-run her…I figured if anybody knew before she did, oh, I'd PAY. 😀

And for my second time? I think I'll go Heather's route.


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