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Can’t say baby where I’ll be in a year May 29, 2009

Posted by Kimmothy in Experience, Health, Life, Moods.
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Yesterday I had another appointment with the therapist person. I’m pretty sure I like her. I’m almost positive I do. Unlike Brian, who is of the opinion psychology/psychiatry/whatever is for the most part crap, (that’s not all his fault; he gets it from his mother) I think it’s something that can be extremely beneficial, depending on the individual, his/her situation and the doctor. There’s no denying a certain amount of bullshit is involved, but I feel that way about most professions so it’s not a biggie to me.

However.

Yesterday’s topic was obviously the third failed IUI. I told her my period arrived last Sunday right before Brian was leaving to go out of town but that I wasn’t surprised about it like I’d been the previous two times. So besides sleeping most of that day and being a little down this week, I think I’m doing pretty okay. Note: doc wasn’t even tryin’ to hear that. She looked at me. An uncomfortable length of eye contact time ensued. Then:

Her: So. You’re doing okay?
Me: Yeah, I really think so.
Her: So you’ve cried over it and in a matter of four days have moved on?
Me: Well no, but…
Her: Oh. So you haven’t even CRIED yet?
Me: Uh…no?

And it was at that point I believe she made it her mission in life to make me cry. I’m not saying she told me I look fat and my roots are showing. She just seemed very goal orientated. As in her To Do list looked like this: (1) make patients cry (2) make them stop crying (3) go home satisfied I’ve done my part to make the world a better place. The worst part – her evil plan worked. I kind of laughed as I reached for the tissue box that just happened to be sitting on the small table next to me; it’s not often you recognize the moment you become a human cliche.

Her opinion is that I’m practicing the art of avoidance. Okay, fair enough. I’m burying my feelings, not dealing with it, etc. Which, okay – I can see that. And I understand that’s not good. But then she told me I need to FEEL my feelings before I can move on. So I said, “Okay, so how do I do that?” she didn’t have an answer for me. Her recommendations included write in my journal (check), continue to exercise (I haven’t every day, but I’ve gotten much more consistent) and either talk about it with people or don’t, depending on how I feel. Um…okay. That wasn’t what I’d call a huge revelation, lady. Your gentle suggestions for me to do things I’m already doing makes me a little cranky. But then again anyone who ends a therapy session by poorly singing Aerosmith (“Sweeeeet Emooootion…”) is A-okay in my book.

Weekend! Starts in 4.5 hours!

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Comments»

1. iamheatherjo - May 29, 2009

I’m glad you’re starting to like her and that you feel you’ll get something out of continuing to see her.

I found out that at least two therapists I’ve encountered hate that I’m not a big crier. They also didn’t like the fact that I smile when (in their professional opinion) I’m not supposed to.

They don’t like it when I tell them that crying doesn’t make me feel better and it sure as hell doesn’t solve anything. They never know what to say to me after that.

F’em.

Maybe Brian and I could go out for beers and you could hook up with us after your session?

2. Kim - May 29, 2009

There’s a tear in my beer…

3. Taoist Biker - May 29, 2009

Damn you.

Where’s my bass?

BadooomdoomBoopdaBOOPbadoom, boombadoom badoomdoomBoopdaBOOPbadoom, boombadoomba…

Aaah. Better.

I hear what Brian’s saying, but I’ve been on both sides. The “Hmm, maybe this ISN’T all bullshit” side feels nicer.

4. Shari - May 29, 2009

Okay, so you know I think therapy is great in the sense that talking it out is one of the best ways to stumble upon what is going on, what’s bugging you, or whatever “answer” you might need at any given time. But, Tim pointed something out to me a long time ago and it seems to be true…All therapists are CRAZY! I usually wouldn’t go along with such a drastic generalization, but the more time passes, the more it seems to be evident. That’s why I prefer to keep my amateur status! Anytime you need an ear, I’m here. (Poems extra) Now, FEEL, dammit.

5. Kim - May 29, 2009

TB – Ha, earworm!

Shari – I like this lady but I think she does have the potential to be crazy. And I’ve gotten way more out of conversations I’ve had with you in the past than I think I will with her. But I guess it can’t hurt. For now.

6. snerkology - May 29, 2009

Heh. That episode of “Everybody Loves Raymond” was on last night, where Ray and Deborah went to the therapist and he didn’t want to because, “All they want to do is make you cry.”

“Feel your emotions/feelings,” FEH. I’m sorry, that’s just dumb. You ARE feeling your emotions, it’s how you’re dealing with them that might seem like avoidance to her. You’re not a robot, forcyringoutloud.

xo, hugs, and YAY! WEEKEND!

7. Kim - May 29, 2009

I tried telling her I’d probably be able to deal with things a lot better with a bunch of drugs, but for some reason she didn’t go for it.

8. Swistle - May 29, 2009

I feel so self-conscious in therapy, like I’m following a TV script about a therapist and a patient. I start using jargon and I-statements.

9. Kim - May 29, 2009

Swistle – Yeah, I sounded fake to myself at times and had to wonder how useful it actually was.

10. morethananelectrician - May 30, 2009

Consider it a success if you visit a therapist and they don’t put you in a straight jacket…I actually have dreams about that happening. Maybe that is why I don’t go…

Trust your instincts with her and don’t be afraid to change if it isn’t working…despite the time you’ve invested in this person.

11. LL Cool Joe - May 30, 2009

The danger of therapists or therapy, is that it gets you to open up, get out all those hidden emotions and stuff, and then rarely does anyone have the ability to help you once you’ve done that.

That’s even worse than holding the feelings in. I used to be part of this forum where everyone would open up about deep stuff because it was on-line and there appeared to a safety in that, and then there was no one with the expertise to help the person out. So the poor sod would just end up feeling totally exposed and broken, with no one able to help them.

It’s not enough to cry and get those feelings out, you need someone who can help solve the problems, and that’s where I think therapy fails.

12. Kim - May 31, 2009

Joe – Amazing point; I think you’re absolutely right. Plus the bitch wouldn’t give me any drugs.


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